


Memories and Guilt

by Mezzybaby



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Brotherly Love, Complete, Cussing, Dangan Ronpa Spoilers, Domestic Violence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Men Crying, Owada Mondo Swears, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Survivor Guilt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-27
Updated: 2021-01-08
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:54:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 31,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27732616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mezzybaby/pseuds/Mezzybaby
Summary: Mondo had a secret, one he thought he'd get over as time went on. But what if the opposite happened? What if, even in a non-despair arc, the secret caused him to snap?
Relationships: Asahina Aoi & Ogami Sakura, Daiya Oowada/Original Female Character, Fujisaki Chihiro & Ishimaru Kiyotaka & Kuwata Leon & Oowada Mondo, Ishimaru Kiyotaka & Oowada Mondo, Owada Daiya & Owada Mondo
Comments: 21
Kudos: 48





	1. Life Changing

_There was the screeching of tires, a horn, a scream, a crash as metal hit metal, and lights that seemed to tumble through space. And then that space seemed to close in and suffocate the air out of everything as the horn continued, screams became louder, and pink flowed onto the concrete like a river._

“Mondo?”

He was snapped from his thoughts as Leon called his name for the second time. The redhead had his hand out as though he was waiting for something.

“Uh, the homework assignment?” Leon said as he raised a brow, “Teach just asked for it. Like, just now.”

“Oh, uh, I don’t have it.”

The baseball star shrugged and sat forwards at his desk. Everyone in the class seemed to be busy either passing their homework forward or looking through their bags. 

In truth, Mondo didn’t remember getting the homework assignment yesterday. Knowing himself, he probably stuffed it into his bag and forgot about it. 

_Ring!_

“Alright, class,” the teacher called as the students raced to leave, “Remember to complete your reading assignment for tomorrow. And Owada,” she said as he passed by her, “This is the second assignment that you’ve missed. Your grade is dependent on your homework.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he mumbled as he left the room. 

In a daze, he followed everyone to the dining hall for dinner. He wasn’t really hungry, hadn’t been for a while, and decided to just sit at one of the empty tables. He threw his bag down with no regards for the books inside and rested his head on his fist with a sigh. 

“Good evening, Mondo,” Taka said cheerfully as he sat next to him with Chihiro.

“Hey.”

“Is everything okay?” Chihiro said quietly, “We tried to walk with you in the hallway but….”

“Oh, shit, my bad. Didn’t mean to leave you guys hangin’.”

“Language. Where’s your dinner?” Taka said as he looked at the lack of a tray in front of the biker, “It’s important to refuel yourself after a hard day of learning.”

“I’m not all that hungry.”

Taka frowned and raised the back of his hand to Mondo’s head. 

“What are you doing?”

“You don’t feel hot,” the hall monitor said, then hummed in thought, “Perhaps you aren’t getting enough rest.”

“Relax, I’m not sick,” Mondo laughed as he lowered Taka’s hand from his head, “Just….tired of the crappy food.”

“Maybe we could buy some food at a restaurant,” Chihiro exclaimed, “Maybe that ramen shop down the street.”

“Sure, I have a few bucks to burn.”

“But why would you burn money?” Taka asked, “And we just got food from the cafeteria.”

“C’mon, ramen is way better than the shit Hope’s Peak is givin’ us now. Great food my ass.”

“Language, kyodai! And I suppose the quality in food has gone down since Hanamura became ill,” Taka admitted, “I guess it wouldn’t hurt to-”

“Great, let’s go!” Mondo said as he and Chihiro were already dumping the trays.

“You just wasted perfectly good food!” Taka yelled in horror, “We could’ve given that to someone in need!”

Ten minutes of calming the moral compass down later, the three were riding down the street on Mondo’s motorcycle. The biker made sure to drive much slower than he normally would so that the two inexperienced passengers could easily hang on and so that Taka wouldn’t complain about going over the speed limit. He had already spoken his concerns regarding the lack of helmets and the way they were seated on a one, possibly two passenger bike- Mondo on the main seat, Chihiro in his lap, and Taka behind him. Mondo had to promise to follow all of the road rules in order to get the stubborn kid to get on in the first place.

Mondo parked once they got to their destination and they were greeted with the smell of seasoned noodles.

“Table for three?” the waitress said.

“Yes please, a window seat by the back, if there is one available,” Taka said as they followed her down the walkway of tables.

Mondo could already feel the stares as they walked by. He could hear whispers of “Crazy Diamonds” and “Diamond Brothers” as they were seated at a booth, Taka and Chihiro on one side, and Mondo on the other. The waitress only seemed to notice then that she was seating the leader of the most fearsome biker gang in Japan. 

“H-here are your menus,” she choked out. Her hands were shaking as she handed Mondo his. She bowed and practically ran to the kitchen. 

“Sorry,” Chihiro whispered, “I thought this place wouldn’t be as crowded.”

Mondo shrugged. “Can’t control how good this place is.” At least they were able to get a seat in the back.

Eventually the waitress returned to take their orders. Well, a different, much more charismatic waitress came and took their orders. She looked Mondo up and down more times than he was comfortable with. When she left, she made sure to flash him one more mischievous smile. 

“She seems to like you,” Taka said.

“More than you think,” Mondo said as he tried to keep his voice down. He was sure his cheeks were still red. 

“So, what are you guys going to do for next week's writing assignment?” Chihiro said, “I’m still narrowing down some ideas.”

“I’ve almost completed the retelling of the first motivational speech that I attended,” Taka said proudly, “It was certainly an event worth documenting and I believe that I captured the importance of it perfectly! What about you, Mondo?”

The biker looked back and forth between the two with a confused stare. 

“Your narrative assignment?” Chihiro began explaining, “The one we talked about in class today? The one we’ve been talking about in class all week?”

“Ah shit.”

“You still haven’t thought of any ideas?” Taka exclaimed, “Why didn’t you tell me? We could’ve been brainstorming days ago.”

“It’s not like I haven’t been thinking about it,” Mondo shot back.

In fact, he had put more thought into this writing assignment than usual. The students of class 78 were tasked with writing about a life changing experience in their lives. It had to be something that “radically changed how they saw the world” or something like that. 

“Well, you still have tomorrow, Saturday, and Sunday to finish it,” Taka said, “Wanna come over to my dorm room today and brainstorm? I can finish up my paper and help you two on yours.”

“That sounds like a good idea,” Chihiro beamed.

“I guess,” Mondo sighed, “I don’t have anything else better to do.”

The waitress came back and set bowls of steaming noodles in front of each of them, along with their drinks. “There you are. I hope everything is to your liking.” She looked over at Mondo. “Enjoy.” 

He rolled his eyes as she left.

“What have you thought of so far, Chihiro?” Taka said after taking a sip of his water.

“Well, I was thinking that maybe I could write about figuring out my first program,” Chihiro replied, “But I would have to explain a lot of technical terms, and that could get boring. Now, I’m considering writing about….you know….” He smoothed out his skirt and lowered his voice. “My secret.”

Mondo felt his stomach go into a knot.

“A-are you sure about that?” Taka said, “I am all for honesty and trust but….this paper could be shared with other staff members and potentially, some students. Your secret could be shared with the entire Hope’s Peak Academy.”

“Not to mention online,” Mondo said, “Some chatty punk ‘ll spill it on some blog. You won’t be able to take that shit back.”

“I know and thank you for being concerned,” Chihiro said with a smile, “I still haven’t decided if that’s what I’ll write about. But I’ve been wanting to come clean for a while and this may be my perfect opportunity.”

“We’ll be behind you, whatever you decide!” Taka said. 

“Yeah, and if someone’s got a problem with it, you know I’ll bust some heads for ya!” Mondo said as he cracked his knuckles. He realized he may have said that last part a little too loud when the couple behind them quickly got up to leave. “Woops.”

Taka sighed. “That’s why I tell you to watch what you say.…” 

After a nice dinner, they rode back and headed to Taka’s room. Just as Taka was unlocking his door, Leon came jogging to them with a few papers in hand. 

“Leon! Running in the hallway is not permitted in-”

“Sorry, sorry,” Leon quickly said as he caught his breathe, “But I need help with this stupid paper. I had Fukawa read over it for me and she gave up after the first few sentences.”

“Luckily, you’re just in time for a study session,” Taka said as he opened his door and led everyone inside.

Mondo had been in this room many times but he was always surprised by how spotless and in order everything was. There were never clothes on the floor or books out of place. It sort of reminded him of a staged bedroom that they would use to sell a house. 

“Man, you guys are life savers,” Leon said as he sat on the floor, “Writing isn’t my strong suit, ya know?”

“Let me see what you have so far,” Taka said as he reached for Leon’s papers. After skimming it over, he shook his head and handed them back. “The thought is there, but you’ll never be able to get it across properly with poor grammar! This could be used as a rough draft sheet, but you’ll have to rewrite the entire thing in a more academic manner.”

“I was afraid you’d say that,” the redhead said with a groan, “Man, this shit took me three days to write!”

“The final draft will be easier to write,” Taka reassured him, “And language.” 

“Easy for you to say,” Leon mumbled, “I bet you’re done already.” 

“Not quite,” Taka said as he sat on his bed and went through his backpack, “There are still some revisions that I have to do.”

“You’re both much further along than I am,” Chihiro said as he took out his laptop from his own bag, “I just settled on an idea today.”

“So you’ve decided to write about your secret?” Taka asked.

“Wait, what?” Leon said in surprise, “Chi, you’re really about to out yourself like that?”

“I-I think so,” he responded quietly, “I’ve been training with you three for a while now and I think that I’m ready. Plus, it would make for a really good narrative.”

“Damn, you’re braver than me,” Leon said.

“I’m actually really nervous about it. But you three still accepted me, so I think I’ll be okay if some people don’t.”

“I mean, yeah, it was a little weird finding out that you’re really a boy, but it’s nothing to disown anyone for,” Leon said with a shrug, “Hey, Mondo, care to join the rest of us?”

The biker had been leaning against the wall by the bathroom door and appeared to be staring into space since they had entered the room. Hearing his name grabbed his attention though, and he sat on the floor next to Leon. 

“Man, what is with you today? That’s like the second time you’ve done that,” Leon said.

“I’m just distracted,” Mondo mumbled, “Trying to figure out this damn assignment.”

“Maybe this will help,” Taka said as he handed him a piece of paper, a pencil, and a math textbook to write on., “Write down possible topics. Getting your thoughts down onto paper may help you think more effectively.”

“Yeah, but where do I even start?”

“How about when you rode your first motorbike?” Leon said, “That started your whole talent, didn’t it?”

Mondo wrote “First bike lesson” on the top of the page. 

“Oh, what about being accepted into Hope’s Peak Academy?” Taka said.

“Naw, that would be too short.”

“What about the day you became leader of the Crazy Diamond?” Leon suggested.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Mondo said quietly. 

“Ah, come on, I bet you had a kickass party.”

“Language!”

He idly scratched the back of his head. “We did….but it was Diaya’s retirement party.”

Taka and Chihiro became quiet, understanding what he was implying. Unfortunately, Leon didn’t.

“Alright, then add that in,” the redhead said as he threw up his arms, “What, do you not wanna add the juicy details? Were there dancers, or drinks, or crazy races- oh, shit, fuck, sorry.”

Taka let out a deep sigh.

“It’s whatever,” Mondo said, looking away.

“What about when you got Chuck?” Chihiro blurted out, hoping to change the topic.

“Oh, the maltese that you had,” Leon said, “The one you never shut up about.”

“Hey, my baby boy's memories should live on and you’re lucky I even share them with you!” He wrote down “Chuck” underneath the first idea. “Aw, wait, that means I’d have to write about him passing.”

“Aw, that would be really sad,” Chihiro said as he got teary eyed.

“It could get you some extra points, though,” Leon said, “The teacher would be so busy crying that she wouldn’t see your mistakes.”

“That sounds like a form of cheating,” Taka said.

“There’s nothing against it in the handbooks,” Leon responded, “And if there was, you’d know about it.”

“Fair enough.”

They continued like this for a while, naming off ideas for Mondo to either write down or reject. When an hour had passed, “First bike lesson”, “Chuck”, “First School Fight”, and “First Police Fight” were written down, leaving the paper mostly blank.

“That should be enough to get started,” Taka said.

“Wait, what about that thing you always say,” Leon suddenly said, “Something about...promise of men!”

“A promise between two men,” Mondo corrected, “What about it?”

“That seems to be a big part of your life. Didn’t you say you got that from your brother?”

“Yeah, it was probably the thing he drilled into my head the most. I can’t even remember the first time he said it to me.”

Taka rubbed his chin the way he did when he was in thought. “A life lesson passed on from an important role model. That could be a good one.”

Mondo shrugged and wrote that down underneath the others. 

Just then, his phone’s notification sound went off. He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out his phone. The new message was from a friend from the gang and it read, “All set for Monday.”

The phone’s screen faded back to black, though he kept staring at it, once again lost in thought. 

“Mondo!”

He looked up to all three of his friends looking at him in concern. “Huh?”

“Seriously, stop doing that!” Leon said.

“Are you sure everything is alright?” Taka said, looking the most concerned, “You’ve been distracted and tense all evening.”

“Uh, yeah,” Mondo said as he returned his phone to his jacket. “I’m just burnt out. Probably just need some sleep. I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”

After saying brief goodbyes, Mondo headed for his own room. He slammed the door, harder than he meant to, and sat on his bed. He pulled his phone out from his pocket and replied to the message:

_Will everyone be there?_

_Michi: Yeah, I made sure to contact everyone. Is the school gonna let you go?_

_I don’t give a shit if they will or not, I’m going to visit Daiya’s grave._

_Michi: Alright, just don’t cause more trouble than you need to. You still gotta go back there when everything is said and done. I’ll let you know if anything changes._

He tossed his phone onto his bed and stood. He took his jacket off and draped it on the back of a chair before going to the bathroom to rub off his eyeliner and take down his hair. 

He really was beginning to feel tired and worn, so he decided to call it an early night. Maybe then his thoughts could settle onto one thing and he could get this stupid assignment done. He stripped down to his boxers, left the clothes and belt on the floor, and climbed under the covers. A few minutes later, his eyes closed and he drifted off to sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for taking a look at my first Danganronpa fanfic! I'll try to post a chapter once a week. If there was something you liked, disliked, vibed with, are worried about, or anything else, let me know in the comments and I'll try to reply back as soon as I can.


	2. We'll Be Fine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mondo keeps getting distracted by memories of Daiya.

_ “Mom forgot to get us again, didn’t she?” Mondo said as he looked up at his older brother.  _

_ The black haired 11 year-old was still looking down the street. “Just give her a few more minutes.” _

_ Mondo scowled. This was the fourth time in a row that they stood outside of the elementary school an hour after the last kid had gone home. “I’m hungry.” _

_ “I know, but she’ll be here soon. She’s got a good reason to be late this time.” _

_ “She’s late all the time!” He folded his arms and started walking. _

_ Daiya grabbed him by the back of his shirt before he could get too far. “Where are you going?” _

_ “I’m gonna walk home,” he said while still trying to walk. _

_ “You can’t walk all the way home. Your legs are too little. Mom’s here!” _

_ Mondo turned and saw their mom’s beat up car speeding down the street. It stopped with a screech in front of them and a black haired woman got out from the driver’s side.  _

_ “I’m so sorry, boys,” she said as she walked over to them, “The pet store owner was a cunt.” _

_ “Pet store?” Mondo asked. _

_ “Did you get ‘em?” Daiya asked their mom. _

_ She nodded. “He’s in the back. His name is Chuck.” _

_ Still very confused but also very excited, he ran to the back door of the car and opened it. Sitting in a cage, all fluffy and white, was the cutest dog Mondo had ever seen. He practically leaped into the car to get a better look.  _

_ “Hi, Chuck,” he said as he put his hand against the metal. _

_ Chuck took a few sniffs of his hand and licked him.  _

_ “Well, he’s not staying in there,” Daiya said as he leaned over him and opened the cage. _

_ Chuck pushed past the door and began licking Mondo’s face as the boy laughed like he hadn’t in a long time.  _

_ “He’s all yours, Mondo,” their mom said as she sat in the driver’s seat, “Don’t make me regret this.” _

_ “Thankyouthankyouthankyou!” he said as he showered his new best friend in belly scratched, “I’ll feed him, and walk him, and bathe him, and thankyouthankyouthankyou!” _

_ He heard his mom laugh. “Don’t forget to thank you brother. It was his idea.” _

‘ _ No, that story would be too short,’  _ Mondo thought as he finished up his hair.

He checked himself over in the mirror again and left the bathroom. He looked around his room for his bag, but couldn’t seem to find it. Figuring that he left it in Taka’s room, he left his room, locked his door, and headed for the cafeteria. 

As always, he found Taka at a table with his food already eaten. Chihiro and Leon sat next to him and they all seemed to be staring at a textbook. 

When Taka spotted him, he placed Mondo's backpack on the table. "Good morning, kyoudai. You left this in the dining hall yesterday."

"The dining hall? I thought I left it in your room," he said as he set the bag on the floor and sat down.

"We went to the ramen shop, remember?" Chihiro responded, "You didn't have it with you when we got on your motorcycle and we went straight to Taka's room afterwards."

“Oh, then I guess I did leave it here. What are you guys doing?”

“We’re reviewing for the quiz this morning,” Taka said. When Mondo gave him a confused stare, he furrowed his brows in worry. “The quiz? We were supposed to read through chapter 3 and memorize the vocabulary words.”

“Oh, shit, I completely forgot about that!”

“You might need this, then,” Leon said as he slid the textbook over to him, “You got like three minutes to cram like forty words in your head.”

“Twenty-one words,” Taka corrected.

“Hey, guys!” an overly cheerful Hiro said as he sat down next to Leon, “The stars are going to align beautifully tonight.”

“Hello, Hiro,” Chihiro said, “Are you ready for today’s test?”

“Test? There’s a test?!”

“Yes, over chapter 3’s reading,” Taka sighed, “I would encourage all of you to start paying closer attention to what the instructor has to say.”

“Oh, that one,” Hiro said as he visibly relaxed, “Yeah, I skimmed it last night. But since the cosmos are working in my favor tonight, I’m confident that I’ll ace this quiz.”

“What the hell do stars have to do with a test?” Mondo said, unable to concentrate on the book anymore. 

“Everything!” the clavorant said as though it were obvious, “Though, there is one thing that worries me. Last night, I had a dream that someone was getting chased. Usually, I’m the one getting chased, but this time I was just a bystander watching as some horrible monster thundered after someone. I’m just thankful it wasn’t me this time!”

“W-who was it?” Chihiro asked fearfully.

“I don’t know,” Hiro said as he scratched his head, “It was definitely someone I know, I’m certain of it. I just can’t remember who.”

_ RING! _

The first bell rang, signaling everyone to get to class. Mondo was sure he wasn’t going to remember any of the words, but he slid the book back to Taka and followed his friends to class. 

“Don’t be too concerned,” Taka tried to reassure him, “Most of the words have simple definitions and are easy to distinguish from each other. You’ll do fine.”

Simple for the class rep, maybe, but Mondo quickly became frustrated when he got the test. Half of the definitions were worded weird and the other half looked as though they could apply to multiple words. He gave up and guessed after about two minutes of looking dumbfounded. When it was time to pass the sheets of paper forwards, he passed his to Leon faced down. The first ten minutes of class had barely started and he already wanted to flip a table. 

For the next hour, the teacher went on and on about something Mondo couldn’t care less about. His eyes wandered around the room and he found that he wasn’t the only one distracted; Sayaka was up front trying to take quick peeks at her phone, next to her, Makoto was having the hardest time sharpening his pencil. Taka, Chihiro, and Kyoko were all paying close attention to the teacher while Byakuya was doing his best to ignore Toko, who was literally drooling as she stared at the progeny. Junko and Mukuro were whispering to each other, Celestia was messing with her hair, Hifumi was drawing, he couldn’t see what Leon was doing, and Hiro was asleep to his right. To his left, Sakura and Hina were passing notes. 

Just as he was trying to regain his focus, he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He took it out of his jacket and read the message:

_ Molly: What was Diaya’s favorite hot pot?  _

_ His knuckles were still sore and they were beginning to bruise badly. He didn't necessarily care. He also didn't care that he was sitting in the principal's office. Two teachers had to drag him there and he could see one of them standing watch through the door's window.  _

_ He wondered if this was what criminals felt like when they were being taken to jail. Was that where he'd be going? He was a middle schooler, had only been in 6th grade for ten days, and all he had done was beat up a kid. Kids fight all the time, right?  _

_ But he hadn't seen the kid get up after the teachers had pulled him away. The kid just laid there as another student tried to shake him awake. He'd definitely go to juvie if he killed someone. _

_ "Mondo," the principal said as he walked into the office, "Your brother has been contacted and will be coming to get you soon." _

_ Mondo didn't say anything as he watched him sit down behind the desk in front of him. _

_ "Mondo," he started again, trying to sound more sincere, "The other student will be okay, but he had to be taken to the hospital." _

_ "Good," Mondo shot back. _

_ The principal frowned at him in disbelief. "Why would that be a good thing?" _

_ "Because that punk deserved worse and he's lucky I wasn't able to break my foot off in his-" _

_ "Stop! This kind of behavior cannot be tolerated and it won't be. I don't care what caused the fight, you have no right to-" _

_ The door opened to the office again and a tall, well built man came in, black hair pulled back into a ponytail and still wearing his warehouse uniform.  _

_ "You must be Daiya," the principal said as he relaxed a little. _

_ "Yeah," Daiya said as he walked over to Mondo, "Alright, what did you do?" _

_ He didn't respond and just looked away. _

_ "Hey, I asked you a question," he said a little more forcefully. _

_ "He sent a student to the hospital," the principal answered, "He was found punching said student relentlessly on the hallway floor." _

_ Mondo felt his collar suddenly tugged, forcing him to look towards Daiya, who was holding his shirt with an iron grip. _

_ "Is that true?" _

_ "He fucking deserved it!" Mondo shouted as he tried to smack Daiya's hand away. The older boy's hand didn't budge. "He pushed a girl in the hallway while she was mindin' her damn business! Just went up and pushed her into the fucking lockers. So I tried to cave his God damn skull in!!" _

_ He was heated again. He could feel the heat in his face and his bruised fists balled up tight, ready and willing to fight anyone and everyone. He stared Daiya in the eyes and a part of him wanted to ram his fist into his face just because he was the closest person at the moment. _

_ The other part of him wanted to cry. He could see Daiya’s stern expression and he knew that if he threw a punch, Daiya would knock him on his ass. But Mondo could also see his eyes soften and tear up.  _

_ "How long is he suspended for?" Daiya said when he finally let Mondo go and turned to the principal. _

_ "As of right now, two weeks, but that may change depending on-" _

_ "Got it," Daiya said as he put a hand on Mondo's shoulder and ushered him towards the door, "I'll talk to him." _

_ The principal said something, but they were already in the halls and Daiya had apparently tooned him out.  _

_ Once outside, they got on Daiya’s motorcycle and started the short ride home. They didn’t say anything to each other the entire way there.  _

_ “Go to your room,” Daiya said once he unlocked their front door, “Take Chuck with you. I’ll get you once I make dinner.” _

_ Too upset to argue, Mondo threw off his shoes, scooped up his Maltese and went to his room. He slammed the door and laid on his bed.  _

_ Chuck knew immediately that there was something wrong and began licking his face.  _

_ “Not now, boy,” Mondo said as he sat up. _

_ Chuck whined and laid his head on his lap.  _

_ The future biker smiled sadly as he scratched behind the white dog’s ears. “I’m not mad at you. I couldn’t be mad at my baby boy.” He felt his chest tighten and his eyes burn. “Some asshole at school pissed me off. He pushed a girl. I might of overreacted a little, but he deserved to have his ass beat. Fucking punk could’ve done something much worse.” He clenched his teeth. “Like leave her in her car….dead.” _

_ He was shaking at this point and the familiar sense of wanting to fight coursed through his veins like fire. Then, Chuck snuggled into his lap and looked up at him with big, sweet eyes in an expression of concern. He took a few breaths to bring himself back to the present and pulled Chuck up into a hug.  _

_ He occupied himself for the next hour and a half by snuggling next to Chuck and fighting with his emotions. He didn’t want to lash out because he didn’t want to scare his dog, and he didn’t want to cry because….well, men just didn’t cry.  _

_ Then, he smelled something savory and his stomach growled. Coconut chicken hot pot. He hadn’t smelled that familiar smell since their mom had made it a year ago. Tears finally fell as he imagined his mom in the kitchen. She wasn’t a good cook, by any means, but the one thing that she could make well was coconut chicken hot pot.  _

_ Knock, knock, knock. “You awake?” _

_ He quickly sat up and wiped away his tears. “Y-yeah. Yeah?” _

_ “....Dinner is almost ready. You can come out now.” _

_ “Yeah, I’ll be out in a sec,” he said as he stood and wiped away more tears. They just seemed to keep coming. Finally, he brushed his long brown hair in front of his face and left his room. He crossed his legs at the table and folded his arms as though he was still very angry.  _

_ But he wasn’t able to keep up the façade when Daiya came into the room with two steaming bowls and set one in front of him. He blew it a few times and ate a spoonful. It burned his tongue, but he could still taste the chicken and coconut. It wasn’t exactly how his mother would make it, but it was perfect enough. More tears slid down his face as he took another bite.  _

_ “I miss her too,” Daiya said, “All the time.” _

_ Mondo sniffed and just stared at his bowl as he tried to control the lump in his throat.  _

_ He heard Daiya shift and move closer to him, then felt him pull him into a hug. He returned the hug without hesitation and felt Daiya let out a shaky sigh.  _

_ “Mom wouldn't mind that you kicked that punk’s ass, but she wouldn’t want you to get kicked out of school. I gotta pay the bills, so you have to be the smart one. Hey,” Daiya pulled him back so that he could look at him. Mondo could see tears flowing freely down his face. “We’re gonna be okay, you hear me?” _

_ Mondo nodded and pulled his brother into another hug. _

_ Chuck had gone into the kitchen to eat his own food, but came running in full speed and nudged his face against them both as he attempted to join in.  _

_ “Yeah, you too Chuck,” Daiya said as he picked up the dog and sat him in Mondo’s lap, “We’ll all be okay.” _

_ “All of us.” _

“Mondo?” he heard Chihiro say. 

He flinched as he realized that Chihiro was standing by his desk with Taka and was shaking his shoulder. He also realized that the classroom was mostly empty now, except the teacher, who was looking at papers at her desk, Chihiro, Taka, and himself. 

“A-are you okay?” Chihiro asked him, his voice laced with more worry than usual.

“Yeah, why? Where is everyone?”

“Everyone has already gone to lunch,” Taka said, who also looked very worried, “Kiyodai, please tell us what’s troubling you.”

He stood and looked at the clock at the front of the room in disbelief. “It’s been four hours?!”

“Mondo, did you zone out again?” Chihiro said.

“I-I guess,” Mondo said, “But how the fuck does someone zone out for four hours?!”

“Language. Maybe you should see the school nurse,” Taka suggested.

“I’m not sick, just….just tired, I guess,” he said as he stood, “Let’s just go to lunch.”

“Perhaps a counselor-”

“I’m fine, Taka, I just zoned out. No reason to start freakin’ out.”

“But why were you crying?”

“Huh?”

Taka reached up and rubbed his hand across Mondo’s cheekbone, then showed the moisture it had left on his finger. There was a hint of gray where the tear must have run across his eyeliner. 

“You were still sitting here when the bell rang for lunch,” Taka said, “When me and Chihiro came closer, you were staring into space and you were crying.”

“I-It’s fine,” Mondo said as he wiped his face and moved past them towards the door, “Let’s just go already.”

“Mondo-”

He ignored Chihiro and left the classroom. He didn’t stop until he was walking into the dining hall. He went for any empty table by the door and sat down. 

He sighed and tried to clear his head. The jump in time was still messing with him. Had he really been daydreaming for four hours? No, not daydreaming, remembering. 

He pulled his phone out of his pocket as he remembered the last text message he received. He texted,  _ “Chicken coconut hot pot,”  _ and slipped his phone back into his pocket just as Leon sat next to him. 

“How much money would it take to get you to arm wrestle Sakura?” the red-head asked casually.

“Sakura Ogami?!” Mondo said, “You’re out of your fucking mind.”

“It’s not like you’re fighting a girl,” Leon said as he rolled his eyes, “Okay, fine, what about Nidai?” 

“Why do you want me to arm wrestle anyone?”

“Hina and I were wondering who could win in a school wide arm wrestling competition. She says Sakura because she has the title of ‘World’s Strongest’ and I say Nidai because I’ve seen that guy destroy bathrooms without trying.”

“Then what the hell does that have to do with me?”

“You’re the wild card. We gotta like see if there’s any challengers. Not much of a competition if it’s just between two people.”

“Whatever, I’m not doing it,” Mondo said as he rubbed his temple. A bad headache was forming and Leon wasn’t helping it. 

“Hey, what’s up with you? Still tired or somethin’?”

Before he could answer, his backpack was placed roughly on the other side of him. Mondo turned around and saw Taka standing there, arms folded and looking very frustrated. 

“Do not ignore our concerns, Mondo!” the red eyed male said, “You may not take your mental health seriously but you have friends that do.”

“I told you that it wasn’t a big deal,” Mondo said back, “Now lay off.”

“I will not ‘lay off’. Something is upsetting you.”

He stood suddenly and faced him. “Damn it, Taka, just fucking lay off!”

The dining hall grew uncomfortably quiet then and Mondo’s cheeks went red as he felt eyes staring at him. Taka had taken a step back in alarm and looked shocked. 

“S-sorry,” Mondo said as he looked at the ground, “I’m just stressed, you know? I didn’t mean to yell at you like that, Bro.”

He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up to see his friend smiling at him. “I forgive you. I should have respected your request. I’m just worried about your well being.”

“I know. I appreciate that,” Mondo said as he put a hand on Taka’s other shoulder and returned the smile. 

“Get a room!” Junko yelled from across the cafeteria.

They took that as a cheque to sit down and everyone gradually went back to their own conversations. 

“What was that all about?” Leon asked, “I haven’t seen you yell at Taka like that since you guys became best friends. 

“It’s water under the bridge,” Taka answered, “Now something of the past.”

“Forgiven and forgotten,” Mondo continued.

“You two are the definition of a bromance,” Leon said as he rolled his eyes. 

“Here, Taka,” Chihiro said as he set a tray in front of Taka and sat down to his own, “You forgot that.”

“Oh, thank you for retrieving my lunch,” Taka said, then looked over at Mondo, “Where’s your tray?”

“I’m not hungry right now.” 

His stomach growled loudly, earning him another frown from Taka. 

Dust flew into the air as he slid his motorcycle to a stop a few feet past the cones being used as a finish line. 

“10:16,” one of the researchers called out.

“Fuck,” Mondo mumbled. He had been racing through an obstacle set up to challenge his abilities on his bike for the last hour and a half. Normally, he could breeze through any of them in under ten minutes, but that wasn’t happening today. He wanted to go through it again, but he had to hit the showers before class. He didn’t want Taka trying to find him. 

As he walked to the locker rooms, he wondered why the thought of Taka trying to drag him to class suddenly pissed him off. Taka normally did that if he was running late, and Mondo normally found it funny and a little endearing that the hall monitor cared so much about his grades. But now, he feared that he would snap at Taka again if he tried to.

Why had he snapped on him during lunch? Like Leon had said, he hadn’t done that since him and Taka had become best friends. Before, yeah, they would never see eye to eye. But that was almost a year ago. Now, Taka, along with Chihiro, was one of the few people Mondo didn’t and hated to snap at. 

The shower turned on and the water soaked his t-shirt and ran down his pants. Wait….

“Jesus, how am I this fucking stupid?!” he yelled as he shut the water off and undressed.

The bell rang for class and Mondo nearly punched a hole in a wall. 

“Fuck it, I’ll take a shower later.”

He rang out his half drenched clothes, redressed, grabbed his bag, and jogged to class.  He made it just as the bell rang again.

“There you are,” Taka said, “I was- Did you spill some-”

“Don’t ask.”

The rest of class went by in another blur and Mondo skipped dinner, using the excuse that he didn’t feel well. Before making it to his room, Taka stopped him in the hallway and pulled him aside. 

“I know you wanted me to ‘lay off’ earlier, but I know that there is something still troubling you. You don’t have to tell me now, but please know that I’m always available to talk.”

“Thanks, Bro. I’ll tell you later, I promise.”

Once he got to his room, he threw off his wet clothes, undid his hair, and got into the shower. He felt drained as he thought about the day. He had really tried to shower with his clothes on. 

He laughed a little as a tear slid down his cheek. “And you said I was supposed to be the smart one.”


	3. Snapping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything becomes too much and someone gets badly hurt.

_“Tada!” Daiya said as he moved aside, revealing a motorcycle almost identical to his own._

_Mondo stood with him in the driveway, looking back and forth at the bike and his brother. “You got me a motorcycle? And you’re going to let me actually ride it? On my own?”_

_“Once you learn to drive it, you can take it wherever you want.”_

_Mondo immediately hopped on and looked over his new ride. It was shiny and polished like new. “Hell yeah! I’m gonna be the only sixth grader with a motorcycle!”_

_“Like I said, you’re gonna to have to learn how to ride it. So don’t do anything that’s gonna get yourself killed.”_

_“Didn’t you try to pop a wheelie the first week you got your bike?”_

_“It didn’t kill me,” Daiya said, “But don’t do that. Want me to show you how to-”_

_“I’ve rode with you a hundred times. I know how to ride.”_

_“Like shit, you do. Show me,” Daiya said as he handed him the keys._

_Mondo got the bike started fairly easy, having seen Daiya do it several times. He revved the engine for go measure, lifted his foot, hit the gas and-_

_Raced forward and slammed on the breaks. His torso nearly slammed into the handlebars. The bike tipped and the only reason he didn’t fall over was because his older brother grabbed the bike._

_“Jesus, don’t do that,” Daiya said with a nervous laugh, “You can’t be scared of it. You have to take control of the bike and make it do what you want.”_

_“I-I wasn’t scared. I got this,” Mondo said before taking a deep breath. He balanced himself again and hit the gas a little softer._

_He was able to make it out of the driveway and across the street. For a moment, he felt like a real biker. Then he remembered that he didn’t know how to turn and hit the uneven curb. He flipped over the front over the motorcycle, felt nothing but air, then landed chest first onto the grass._

_For a few seconds, he was only aware of the taste of grass and dirt, the embarrassment that he felt, and his life that had flashed before his eyes. Then he heard Daiya call his name and felt him turn him over onto his back._

_“Shit, are you hurt?”_

_“I’m not sure if I have nipples anymore.”_

_Daiya gave him a look mixed with fear and confusion before Mondo busted out laughing._

_“Don’t fucking do that!” Daiya growled as he pushed him, “I thought you were really hurt.”_

_“Yeah, like being fucking nippless was my biggest concern.”_

_That got a laugh out of Daiya. “Do you see girls linin’ up to sleep with a nippless man? Now get up.”_

“It’s gonna happen! The arm wrestling match of the century!”

“What?” Mondo said as he sat up. That’s right, he was at dinner. It was Saturday. He was sitting with Chihiro, Taka, and Leon like normal, and Hina, Makoto, and Sakura had come over to their table. 

“Nidai agreed to arm wrestle Sakura!” Hina said as she wiggled around in her seat cheerfully, “And it’s all thanks to Makoto.”

“I didn’t really do anything,” Makoto explained, “I just joined Hina on her way to talk to him and I tripped down the stairs. Luckily, Nidai caught me, we were able to start a conversation from there, and I asked him.”

“Now you’ll see that Sakura is the strongest there is!” Hina said as she pointed a finger at Leon.

“That’s only if she wins,” Leon said with a smile, “Either way, this is going to be the arm wrestling match of the century!”

“I wish you two wouldn’t make such a big fuss over this,” Sakura said as she folded her arms, “However, this will give me a chance to finally test Nidai’s strength. I’ve heard that he is quite powerful.”

“You both are,” Makoto said, “Hopefully the school is still standing afterwards.”

“When are you guys doing this?” Chihiro asked.

“Monday night,” Hina said, “It was going to be on Sunday, but Nidai and Owari have plans and I gotta finish writing that assignment.”

“You haven’t finished it?” Taka asked.

“Well, I mostly have it done. I just have to clean it up a bit.”

Mondo frowned as they all began talking about the writing assignment and toned them out. He still had a bad headache, still hadn’t decided what to write about, and was growing increasingly irritated at everything and everyone. 

“You should come too,” Taka suddenly said to him, “The sooner it’s written, the sooner you won’t have to worry about it.”

“Huh?”

“The writing assignment?”

“Oh, uh, yeah, I’m fine with that. You guys going now?”

“Yeah, Mr. Hall Monitor won’t rest until we’re done,” Leon said with a sigh, “See ya guys. Might wanna prep for Monday.”

“You better tell the same to Nidai,” Hina said, “He’ll need it more than Sakura!”

“See you guys later,” Makoto laughed. 

Everyone said their goodbyes and Mondo followed Leon, Taka, and Chihiro to Taka’s room. When they got inside, he sat on Taka’s bed and took his list of ideas from his pocket. He unfolded the crumpled paper to reveal three crossed out ideas, leaving “First police fight” and “A promise between two men”.

Taka sat next to him and looked at the paper. “It looks like you’ve been narrowing them down. That’s excellent! Now you only have to decide between the remaining two ideas.”

Mondo tossed the paper on the bed and sighed. “Don’t think I could do either one.”

“Why? A promise between two men is something you live by, so it would make sense that it could be your leading point for this assignment.”

“Just don’t feel like it.”

“Okay,” Taka said, a little confused, “What about your first fight with city authorities?”

“That would be a cool one,” Leon said from the floor, “I’d read it.”

“Don’t see how it would make any sense,” Mondo mumbled, “Didn’t learn shit from it.”

“Language,” Taka said, “And I suppose that would mean that you would have to go back to brainstorming.”

“Just fuck this bullshit assignment!” Mondo shouted, “I’m not going to finish it in time anyways.”

“You still can,” Taka said as leaned closer to him, “Is this what was bothering you yesterday?”

“You mean when he was crying?” Chihiro asked. 

Mondo shot a glare at him and the smaller boy flinched.

“Wait, you were crying?” Leon asked, “Okay, this tutoring session is officially a therapy session. You keep zoning out, you keep snappin’ more than usual, and now you’re crying in public. That has to be somethin’.”

“Would you three get the hell off my back?!” Mondo yelled as he pushed Taka away, “I’m fine. I’ve been fine. There’s nothing wrong with me, got it?”

“No one said anything was wrong with you,” Taka said as he rubbed the shoulder Mondo had pushed, “We just-”

“You just need to let it go.” He felt his face heat up and fire enter his veins.

“Dude, chill,” Leon said as he stood, “No need to go hittin’ anyone.”

“Are you tellin’ me what to do now, Kuwada?” Mondo said as he stood and got inches from Leon’s face, “Cause I don’t need you to be my fucking parent!”

“Mondo, please, stop!” Chihiro said through tears, “We just want to help.”

“I don’t need any fucking help!!”

He grabbed the closest thing to him, which happened to be Leon’s backpack, and sent it sailing at Chihiro. His conscious surfaced at the last second and he was able to arch his arm to where the bag sailed past the terrified boy and hit the wall instead. 

“Mondo, that’s enough!” Taka said as he stood in front of him and grabbed his arm, “That is no way to treat your friends!”

Mondo knew that but he wasn’t thinking straight. 

He was beyond out of control and he felt cornered. 

He felt trapped again. 

Scared.

_He was scared. He could still see the tail lights of motorcycles as the last of the Crazy Diamonds raced away. Daiya probably thought that he was right behind him, but instead he was blocked by two cop cars. He looked behind him and saw three more cop cars screech to a halt. He was completely surrounded._

_“Off the bike, kid,” he heard one of the cops in front say. He couldn’t tell which one because the headlights were close to blinding._

_He looked around for an alley to duck into or a space between the cars to drive through, but he was sandwiched between two apartment buildings with no escape. So, slowly, he got off of his motorcycle and raised his hands in the air._

_“On the ground,” the same officer called._

_Mondo lowered himself to his knees and watched as they walked towards him. So, this was it. His first joyride with the new gang and he was already going to get hauled away to jail. Daiya would work his ass off to get him out, but after that, he would never let him ride again._

_“Fucking pathetic,” he growled to himself._

_He felt his wrists being grabbed and pulled behind his back. Then, felt himself grab the cop’s shirt and twist around. With a roar of anger, he swung his fist into the cop’s face and dropped him to the ground in one punch. Guns were pointed at him and he should’ve been scared._

_If he was in his right mind, he would’ve been scared. But he was pissed and determined to prove to himself, to Daiya, to anyone and everyone that he was strong enough to ride with the best. So at that moment, common sense didn’t matter._

_He sidestepped the first shot and drove his fist into the next person’s chest, knocking the wind out of the unfortunate man. He grabbed him, lifted him up over his head, and threw him into another cop before another shot was fired._

“Mondo, stop!”

_A shot rang out and he felt a bullet graze his arm. He jumped back, narrowly missing two more shots, and grabbed a discarded pipe on the ground. He ran forwards, threw his arm back, and bended the metal pipe onto the next cop’s skull. He pushed him aside, grabbed the gun from the one behind him and beat him across the face with it._

“You’re hurting him, please!”

_He fought his way through each of them and by the time he stopped swinging, the cops laid scattered on the street, some groaning, others not moving at all. He spotted one trying to crawl away and he kicked him to his side._

“Mondo, snap out of it!”

_This one was crying….and looked like Chihiro._

_But Chihiro wasn’t there._

He wasn’t there.

He wasn’t there. He was in Taka’s room, trying to finish a writing assignment. In front of him was Chihiro. Tears were running down his face and he looked scared to death. 

“Chi?” Mondo said as he looked around. They were on the floor, by Taka’s bed. Leon was also on the floor a few feet away. He was pushing himself onto his hands and knees. His jacket was half way off and there was blood splattered under his nose. 

“What the hell, dude!?” Leon yelled at him.

He looked down at his own knuckles and realized that they were bruised and had pink smudges across them. “Shit, what the hell happened?”

“What happened?” Leon repeated. He looked as though he didn’t believe what he had just heard. “Did you….did you really just fucking black out on us?! Like seriously?!”

“I-I guess?” Mondo said, sounding so unsure. It scared the living hell out of him that he couldn’t remember hitting Leon. He remembered throwing a backpack, yelling, pushing Taka, but not throwing a punch. “Shit, I didn’t-”

“I’m not the one you should be focused on, asshole,” Leon said as he got up and hurried over to Chihiro.

Or someone behind Chihiro. The smaller boy was still frozen in place, visibly shaking as he looked up at Mondo with wide eyes. He seemed unharmed. But he also seemed to be leaning back on someone, as if to shield them. He could see legs clothed in white dress pants sticking out from behind him, ending in boots. 

Taka.

Reality hit him like a brick as he moved around Chihiro to Taka’s head. The moral compass was turned away from him. He was curled into a ball with his arms tucked around his head. Leon called to Taka and shook him, but his arms were limp and he didn’t respond. 

“Taka?” Mondo choked out. His heart raced as he grabbed onto his shoulder and gently turned him towards them.

He turned away as soon as he saw Taka’s face, but the image was already burned into his eyes. Blood was splattered out of his mouth and nose, there was a nasty cut on his bottom lip, a bruise on his left cheekbone, and his left eye was already turning green. It wasn’t like Mondo had never seen the aftermath of a fight. He had seen it plenty of times on himself and other people. But it hurt so much worse seeing it on Taka and knowing that he was the cause of it. 

“He isn’t moving,” Leon said with worry.

Chihiro finally became unfrozen and put two fingers on Taka’s neck. “I-I feel a pulse. H-he’s alive!”

“We gotta get him to the nurse’s,” Mondo said as he put his arms under Taka’s back and thighs. The others gave him room as he lifted Taka to his chest and stood up. 

Chihiro ran over to open the bedroom door with Mondo and Leon tailing him. Mondo ran down the hallway as best he could while securely holding Taka. He stole a glance at Daiya and he still hadn’t opened his eyes-

No, not Daiya, this wasn’t that. This was a different place with different people in a totally different situation. Taka was not dying, he would be fine. 

He kicked open the nurse’s office door, making both the head nurse and Mikan Tsumiki jump. “He needs help, now!”

“Lay him here,” Mikan instructed as she pointed to a bed. 

Mondo obeyed and laid Taka on the mattress as gently as he possibly could. The hall monitor still winded up groaning in pain, causing Mondo’s heart to sink. 

Mikan and the nurse quickly began examining Taka. They asked Mondo what happened, but he couldn’t answer. He knew that he was the cause of this, but he wasn’t aware of what he did. 

“Those two got into a fight,” Leon answered, “Taka got in front of ‘em and Mondo decked him right in the face. Pinned him after that and just started pounding on him. Me and Chi had to pull him off and I got swung on.”

That sounded right. Mondo didn’t want to believe it, begged for this to be a nightmare, but it sounded too much like himself. He had attacked and beaten his best friend. 

“His nose doesn’t seem to be broken,” the head nurse said.

“His ribs may be,” Mikan responded, “I’ll set up the x-ray.”

Mondo’s legs went numb and he felt like he was going to be sick. He lowered himself into a nearby chair and put his head on his fists. He didn’t want to hear anymore about what he had done. He just wanted Taka to wake up, for him to be alright, smiling, lecturing him, bugging him about his writing assignment, anything!

He sat there for what felt like hours until he felt someone tap him on the shoulder. He looked up and saw Chihiro standing there. The programmer wouldn’t make eye contact with him. 

“H-h-e’s w-waking up,” he struggled to say. 

Mondo looked over at Taka’s bed and sure enough, he was slowly opening his eyes. The biker jumped up and was at his side in a second. “Taka?”

Red eyes looked around, trying to get a grasp on where he was. They looked at Chihiro, who was also at his bed. And then, his eyes fell on Mondo and widened. 

“W-what happened?” Taka said as he tried to get up, but quickly winced and grabbed his side. 

“Don’t,” Chihiro said as he and Mondo helped him to lay back down, “T-the doctor said that you have a broken rib, s-so you’ll need to take it e-easy for a while.”

Taka paused, shocked for a moment, then looked over at Mondo. His expression was a mix of hurt and disbelief, like he couldn’t accept that the one he called brother would do this to him. 

Mondo eyes burned as he closed them, “I didn’t mean it, I didn’t mean any of it. I don’t know what happened, I just….snapped!” A lump formed in his throat, preventing him from saying anything else.

“I pushed you too far again,” Taka said weakly.

Mondo’s eyes shot open. “W-what?”

“I ignored your request to ‘lay off’ again. Yes, the way you responded was extremely unacceptable, but I was in the wrong first, so I am the one to blame.”

“You….what?” Mondo said. He wasn’t sure if he was hearing the stickler of the rules correctly. “Taka, I ASSAULTED you, and you’re telling me that you’re the one that we should be mad at?”

“The fault was initially-”

“No, fucking no!” Mondo yelled, “Don’t do that. I could’ve killed you Taka, so don’t you fucking give me a pass!!”

Chihiro suddenly started crying and Leon ran into the room. 

Mondo couldn’t do this. He didn’t want to scare anyone else. He pushed past Leon and left the nurses office. Waiting for him outside was Hina, Sakura, and Celestia. 

“Is what Leon said true?!” Hina yelled with her fist raised, “Did you really attack Taka?”

Mondo wanted to strangle that red head, but he didn’t say anything. He didn’t trust himself at the moment.

“How could you do something like that to a friend?” she continued.

“Makes you wonder if they were friends to begin with,” Celestia said as she idly twirled her hair. 

Mondo clenched his teeth, but he was unable to keep his mouth shut. “You got some fucking nerve. Of course me and Taka are friends!”

“You’ve got a funny way of showing it!” Hina countered, “Friends don’t break friends’ ribs or bruise their face because they’re mad at them. They help each other and build each other up, like Taka tried to.”

She was right. Taka had done nothing but been an amazing friend to him, and was still trying to be. And what had he done in return? He had beaten his dear friend, his brother, like he was some punk on the street. 

“If you were half the friend Taka was, you’d know that, Mondo! You’d know that you were lucky to gain a friend like Taka and-”

“Hina.” Sakura said sharply.

Hina looked at Sakura, then back Mondo and also became concerned. 

Mondo knew what they were worried about. Him. He was shaking, bad. He tried to cross his arms to make it stop it, but it didn’t help. Even Celestia raised a brow at him.

He walked, then ran down the hall and didn’t stop until he was in his room. He locked his door behind him and slid down the wall to the floor. His chest hurt and he was still shaking. 

He wanted so badly to wake up suddenly and find out that this was a dream or some sort of sick prank. He wouldn’t even be mad at that point, just relieved that he hadn’t attacked Taka. But no, this was real, too real. He had fucked up bad yet again. He had caused another person he loved harm. He was lucky it hadn’t resulted in death this time. 

_Like it had with Daiya._

There was a knock at his door causing him to jump. The knock became more urgent, followed by the doorbell. He slammed his fist into the door and the doorbell stopped. Whoever was on the other side had apparently gotten the message.

He got up, climbed into bed, and threw a pillow over his head. He couldn’t hold back any longer and he let out a strained sob. He hated how weak he felt, he hated that he had caused so much, he hated himself. He curled up and laid there, hoping that sleep would take him soon.

‘Fucking weak,’ he thought to himself. No, he couldn’t allow this to happen, he had to toughen himself up. He threw the pillow off and sat up. He rubbed his face and struggled to control his breathing. 

He got up and went to the bathroom. He placed his hands on the sink and leaned towards the mirror, staring himself down. His eyeliner was smudged, his face was red, and his eyes were watery. “Fucking toughen up!” he growled at himself. A hard frown stared back at him. He looked like the man he was raised to be, the man that had led the Crazy Diamond and had become the most feared biker gang leader in all of Japan. 

He kind of looked like Daiya. A very disappointed Daiya. 

Another sob escaped his mouth and he covered his face. Daiya wouldn’t black out and attack randomly. Daiya didn’t lose his cool and ruin everything. 

He felt nothing like Daiya. 

_“Mondo Owada?”_

_“That’s me,” he said as he placed the barbell back on its hooks and sat up._

_“Someone’s here to bail you out,” the guard said._

_“It’s about damn time.” He stood, grabbed his jacket, and followed the guard to checkout._

_After he was cleared to go, Mondo walked to the front and found Daiya and Molly, one of Daiya’s friends, waiting for him. His brother had his arms folded, jaw locked, and his eyes staring out from under his pompadour._

_Mondo sighed and walked over to them, fully expecting to get chewed out. But Daiya just turned and walked out of the building before he could say anything._

_“He’s been worried about you,” Molly said as she looked up at Mondo._

_“Yeah, he looks super fuckin’ worried,” Mondo responded and walked out with her following._

_They loaded into Molly’s truck, and started the trip home. From his seat behind Daiya’s, Mondo could feel the tension in the car. No one was talking and Daiya still hadn’t said a word to him. That meant either he was trying to calm down or he was too furious to talk. He saw the passenger window roll down and heard a lighter._

_“I thought you said you were tryin’ to quit.”_

_Daiya’s only response to Mondo was a long draw from the cigarette. Yep, he was too pissed to speak._

_He hated whenever Daiya got like this. It didn’t happen often since they usually got along, but when it did happen, there was a storm. The worst part was that Mondo was always in the wrong._

_Mondo took a dog collar out of his pocket and rubbed his thumb across it. “Can we turn on the radio?” he said, trying to defuse the tension._

_Daiya sat up in his seat and flicked the rest of the unfinished cigarette out of the window. Shit._

_“I don’t get you sometimes, little brother, I really don’t. So, walk me through it. How did you land yourself into juvee this time?”_

_He folded his arms and hid his face behind his long brown pompadour. “You already know why.”_

_“I know that,” Daiya said with an eerie amount of calm, “So does Molly because she had to unfortunately hear me rant about it the entire half hour it took to drive to get your sorry ass. But for shits and giggles, I’d like to hear it again. Why did you get arrested?”_

_Mondo felt his face heat up from embarrassment. “I….busted up a teacher’s car.”_

_“And why did you do that?”_

_“Because he was yellin’ at me.”_

_“And why was he yellin’ at you?”_

_“Because I started yellin’.”_

_“And why-”_

_“Because he said I looked like I had a dead animal on my head!”_

_There was an awkward pause before Daiya said, “So you decided to not only get arrested and expelled, but fined 5,000 fucking dollars because someone made fun of your hair?”_

_“Yeah, guess so,” Mondo said as he looked out the window._

_They were pulling into their driveway. As soon as the car stopped, Mondo got out of the car and headed for the house. He didn’t make it pass the car before Daiya had him by the back of his jacket._

_“Where do you think you’re going? We aren’t finished.”_

_He pulled his jacket from Daiya’s hands and turned towards him. “You might be the leader of the Diamonds, but you're not the leader of me. So stop acting like it!”_

_“I’m acting like your brother, smartass, and if you haven’t noticed, I’m one of the few people who gives a shit about what happens to you. So sorry if I’m a little upset that my baby brother is throwing his life away over a goddamn insult!”_

_“I’m not a fucking ba-”_

_“You’re in eighth grade, if you haven’t noticed. Eighth fucking grade and already have been expelled from eight different schools. There’s only one high school that wants you now and it’s the crummy shithole a couple blocks over.”_

_“It’s not like I wasn’t headed there anyways.”_

_“Guys, maybe we should go inside,” Molly said as she pulled her red hair into a ponytail, “I’ll make us something to eat.”_

_“Naw, hun, I think Mondo doesn’t quite get it, do you?” Daiya said as he got inches from Mondo’s face, “You’re not supposed to keep making your life shit by making shit decisions. I thought I taught you better than that.”_

_“There you go, acting like my fucking dad again,” Mondo growled._

_“It’s not like anybody else will, on account that mine was shot and yours left.”_

_“I’ve never needed you to, okay?! Fuck, why do you do this? I know I fucked up. I know I can’t do shit right,” he said as he turned towards the house, “I don’t need you rubbing it in my fucking face!”_

_“I’m not!” Daiya said as he grabbed his arm._

_Mondo’s fists curled into a ball and shot out, connecting with Daiya’s face. The older boy stumbled and turned away as he grabbed his mouth. All three of them stood there, stunned for a moment._

_Then with a sudden burst of speed and power, Daiya lunged at Mondo and drove him to the ground_

_The air was knocked from Mondo’s lungs and his ears were ringing. He tried to pull Daiya’s hands from his shoulders, but that only resulted in him getting pulled up and slammed to the ground again._

_Molly dove in between them and pushed against Daiya. “Enough, alright? Enough! Get off!” Daiya’s grip loosened and Molly pushed him back away from Mondo._

_The younger boy quickly stood and struggled to draw in air._

_“Hey, everyone, just take a breather,” Molly started as she kept a hand on Daiya’s chest and an eye on Mondo, “Throwin’ punches at each other isn’t gonna solve a damn thing.”_

_“I want you out,” Daiya growled at Mondo, “I want you to pack up your shit and get the hell out of my house!”_

_“W-what?” Mondo said, “Where the hell am I supposed to go?”_

_“Beats the fuck out of me but I’m done caring. If you want to screw up your life so badly, go be my fucking guest but I’m not about to watch you do it.”_

_Mondo watched as he headed for the house and ignored Molly’s call to think about what he was saying. He opened the door and slammed the screen shut, nearly taking it off its hinges._

_“He doesn’t mean that,” Molly said as she turned to Mondo._

_“Oh, he sure as hell means it,” Mondo said as he headed for his motorcycle._

_“Just let me talk to him,” she begged, “Shit, don’t you walk away from me, too! Just stay out here and let me talk to him. Please. Mondo?”_

_He hopped onto his bike, but didn’t take out his keys. “You're wasting your breath, but sure, I’ll wait. Not like it’s goin’ to change a thing.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope I didn't write Mondo or anyone else too out of character. Especially Daiya. I tried to make him stern, but I might of made him come off as mean in this chapter. And Molly, omg, I accidently made her but she's here now and I can't take her out. But thank you to everyone who has read and liked so far. I've spent more time than I thought I would on this story but man has it been worth it! 
> 
> I was also wondering if the jumps between memories and the present are confusing. I tried to make it obvious with the formatting, but it may be hard for some people to tell. Let me know!


	4. Meet Me There

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the day after and Mondo takes a trip to an old place.

The next day, he woke up to ringing. He dug in his jacket (he had slept with it on) and pulled out his phone. It was noon and Leon was calling him. He declined it and closed his eyes. He felt sluggish and sore and since it was Sunday, he had no plans of leaving his bed. 

His phone rang again and he declined it without looking. He wasn’t sure if he could handle talking to anyone. He had cried, hard, off and on throughout the night and hadn’t gone to sleep till 3am. He felt like he could sink into the bed. 

His phone rang again and he picked it up to throw it, but noticed that the name “Kyodai” was on the screen. He answered against his better judgement.

“Taka?”

The line went quiet for a few seconds, before Taka answered, “Hello, Mondo. I’m glad to hear that you’re finally awake.”

“Yeah. How ya feelin’?”

“The nurses gave me some medicine to relieve the pain, so I feel much better.”

“That’s good.” 

“....Will you be coming to the dining hall for lunch?”

“Dining hall? I thought you’d still be at the nurse’s.”

“I slept in the nurse’s office overnight, but they said that I could leave in the morning. I was instructed to take it easy until I fully recovered.” Another pause. “Mondo, I would really like to discuss what happened in person.”

“I don’t know, Taka. I….don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Oh….why is that?”

“I’m still kind of getting over what happened, you know? It’s weird. I don’t even remember hitting you….”

“....Would speaking in private help?”

He sighed. Knowing Taka, he wouldn’t sleep well at night unless they cleared things up. “Sure, come by my room whenever.”

“Excellent! I’ll be there in fifteen minutes with our lunches.”

“Now? Wait, Taka? Taka!” 

He had already hung up and was probably speed walking to get them both a tray of food. Mondo jumped out of bed and threw on some clean clothes before running to the bathroom to rub off the smeared eyeliner and brush his teeth. He then kicked his laundry under his bed and turned over his makeup stained pillow before hearing a knock at his door. 

He looked at his phone and saw that it had only been nine minutes since he had gotten off the phone with him. Figuring he was just early, Mondo combed his fingers through his long undone hair a few times to get it out of his face and answered the door. 

“Could of least let me have the full time to-”

Instead of Taka standing at the door, it was Kyoko and Leon. 

“Oh, now you wanna answer the door,” Leon mumbled.

“My father wanted to see you an hour ago,” Kyoko said simply.

Mondo could guess why, but he still asked. “The headmaster? For what?” 

“Did you really forget about yesterday that fast?” Leon said as he threw his arms up, “Your fight with the class rep, what else?”

“Shit.” As if all his own self hatred hadn’t been enough, now he’d have to face some consequence from the school. “Am I getting expelled?”

“He wouldn’t say,” Kyoko answered, “However, it didn’t appear as though that was his intention.”

“I don’t think so either,” Leon said with a sigh, “The headmaster already talked to Taka and he didn’t want to press any charges or anything. He actually wanted the headmaster to go easy on you.”

“That fucking….” He clenched his fists as he trailed off. It was normally comforting to know that Taka had his back, but now it just made him feel guilty. It only confirmed further that Taka was more of a friend than Mondo could ever be. “He should be more worried about his own ass than sticking up for me. Why is he out of bed, anyways?”

“Hey, I tried to get him to relax,” Leon said with a shrug, “So did Chi and Aoi and half the class. Apparently that man doesn’t have an off switch, even with a broken rib and a busted wrist.”

“His wrist? What’s wrong with his wrist?”

“Oh, right, you left before the nurses told us everything. You broke one of his ribs and sprained one of his wrists when he was tryin’ to protect his head. His face is all bruised up, too. The whole school is talking about it.”

Surprisingly, Mondo was able to feel worse. He had half a mind to slam the door in both of their faces and ignore the headmaster’s summons, until Taka walked up to his door holding one tray followed by Chihiro holding another. The hall monitor’s left eye was blackened, had stitches on his bottom lip, and a nasty bruise on his cheek. 

“Good afternoon, everyone!” Taka said a little too cheerfully, “I hope we’re not interrupting any-”

“Why are you holding anything?!” Mondo said as he grabbed the tray from Taka, revealing that his left forearm was in a cast. His sudden outburst made everyone tense up. “Isn’t your wrist broken or something?”

“It’s just sprained,” Taka said, “That’s why I asked Chihiro to carry mine so that I didn’t have to carry both.”

“You still shouldn’t be usin’ it. And why aren’t you resting?”

“I have to eat lunch, just like you should. We also need to talk. You said to come to your room at any time, right?”

“You’re going into his room?” Leon said with a raised brow. 

“And why shouldn’t he?” Mondo said as he squinted an eye.

“Because Taka’s safety would be in question,” Kyoko stated bluntly.

“But I trust Mondo,” Taka said, “Yesterday was an admittedly….unpleasant experience, but that was out of character.”

“Are you sure of that?” Kyoko continued, “Correct me if I’m wrong, Mondo, but isn’t it common for you to lash out at others? Don’t you frequently pick fights? Granted, this is the first time that you’ve attacked a classmate like this and you and Kiyotaka are close friends, but can you guarantee that this will never happen again?”

He glared at her defiantly, but it felt like his chest was caving in on itself. He was, quite possibly, the easiest person to piss off in school. But he’d always check himself around his friends, especially Taka and Chihiro. He didn’t enjoy scaring or concerning them. And until last night, those two could cancel out his worst outbursts with just a look, a word, or a hand on his arm. They knew a lot of his inner battles and kept him grounded. 

Until yesterday.

“You can’t break a promise, right?” Taka said to him suddenly, “A promise between two men?”

“Yeah?”

“Then promise me this; from this day forth, you will never hurt me like that again. Deal?”

He watched Taka reach out his uninjured hand for a handshake in order to seal the deal. Hesitantly, Mondo grabbed it and shook. “Yeah, I promise.”

“There, see? I’m perfectly safe,” Taka said as he took his tray from Chihiro and walked past Mondo into his room, “Now, if you’ll excuse us, we have things to discuss.”

“I’ll let my father know that you’ll be at his office in thirty minutes,” Kyoko said as she walked away towards the dining hall.

Leon let out an exaggerated groan and started to follow, “Come on, Chi, let’s head back before all the deserts are gone.”

“Wait,” Mondo said. He didn’t feel right leaving things like this. “Not sure if I’ve said this already but….I’m sorry for yesterday. I flipped out on all of you guys and I could’ve seriously injured any of you, or worse. I still don’t know what came over me. Whatever it was, I shouldn’t of done that. And if Taka deserves an apology, so do you. So….”

“....A-are you inviting us in?” Chihiro said. 

“I don’t know, man,” Leon mumbled.

“Talk to Taka first.” For the first time since the fight, Chihiro sounded somewhat sure of himself. “We should all talk eventually, but….you and Taka should talk privately. Me and Leon will be waiting.” He elbowed Leon after a few seconds.

“Ow, yeah, yeah, we’ll be here,” the red hair said as he rubbed his hip.

He watched them walk off towards the dining hall and wondered if they meant what they said or if they were still afraid of him. No, he couldn’t dwell on that now. He closed his door and found Taka sitting on his bed with his tray in his lap. 

Mondo set his tray on his nightstand and went to the bathroom to get ready. “Kyoko said that her old man wants to see me.”

“He hasn’t already spoken with you?”

“I haven’t been awake that long. I gotta head to his office in about a half hour.”

“Then that’s just enough time to discuss what happened…..So….what exactly happened? What did I say that caused you to become so cross with me?”

Mondo busied himself by doing his eyeliner. “It wasn’t just you. I was already mad about somethin’. And I guess it just felt like you, Chi, and Leon were on my case. I don’t know….every time I try to replay what happened, it doesn’t make much sense. Nothin’ you guys said should’ve made me snap. You guys were just trying to help….”

“....You mentioned before that you don’t remember hitting me, right?”

“Yeah, but I clearly did.”

“....Sorry, I’m doing it again. I….know I said that I would let you tell me what was ailing you when you were ready, and yet I keep insisting that you tell me. My concerns keep overstepping my manners.”

“I guess I haven’t told you because I’m not sure what’s bugging me. I keep wakin’ up irritated and the smallest things get to me. Guess that’s not much different from how I am normally. Been like that since I was a kid.”

“What did your brother do whenever you got in this mood?”

The question caught him off guard for a moment. It was still weird to talk about Daiya outside of home or the Crazy Diamonds. “He was annoyingly good at readin’ me. He could tell if I was pissed by the way that I’d walk into a room. If I was throwing a fit, he’d let me rant or whatever until I was calm, then he’d talk to me. He was one of the few people who would actually talk to me and not at me. If he was pissed too, he’d leave me alone until he was calm.” He smiled. “That idiot could make me laugh over nothin’. Things didn’t seem so bad then.”

“He sounds like he was a really good brother. Did you two ever fight?”

He laughed. “All the time back when we were kids. Believe it or not, I was worse back then. He’d have to hold me down until I stopped throwin’ punches. I grew out of it though, or tried to….There was one time, when I was in middle school….Daiya had just paid my bail and he was more pissed than usual. I had gotten expelled from school again and the only one that I could go to was the crappy one closest to us. That made his blood boil. He was laying into me pretty hard and I just….decked him, right in the jaw. He winded up jumpin’ me then and threw me into the ground. Never punched back, though, he kicked me out of the house.” 

He switched to brushing his hair and glanced at Taka in the mirror. He was still on the bed, appearing to be eating his lunch and listening attentively. 

“That didn’t last long though,” he continued, “After an hour, he came outside and got on his bike. He told me to follow him and I tailed him on mine. We drove for a while and we went off road. Didn’t stop until we got away from the city and up on a hill. We got off the bikes and he told me to look at the city and that all of our problems were there. Then he told me to turn around and look up. Growin’ up in the city, I had never seen more than one or two stars in the sky. There were thousands that night. I forgot that I was angry. Didn’t seem like it mattered anymore. Daiya made that our spot. If we ever needed to have a really deep talk, we’d tell the other to meet there and just talk until we had nothing to talk about. We could just be honest and open.”

“Did you ever take anyone else there?”

“No, it was just for us. He didn’t even bring his girlfriend, which is sayin’ somethin’….After he died, I stopped going. It just didn’t feel right goin’ without him. But I’d like to take you one day.”

Taka looked to him through the mirror and smiled. “I would be honored to go! What about tonight?”

“Tonight?....I don’t know. I still have to see if I’ll be at Hope’s Peak tonight.”

“I talked with the headmaster. He said that you will be punished but not as severely as expelling you.”

“Why did you do that?!” he asked, his voice raising again.

Taka jumped and looked at him confused. “I thought you would be pleased to hear that.”

“And why did you tell them that you still trust me? There’s no way in hell that you could still trust a person that knocked you out.”

“I do trust you,” Taka insisted. 

“Bullshit.”

“I do.”

Mondo closed the gap between them in seconds. Taka tried to appear unfazed, but he shrank back at the last second and the tray slid off of his lap. 

Mondo caught it and set it on the bed. “No. You. Don’t.” He turned away as his eyes started to water. “I messed up, Bro, and that’s on me. You don’t have to try to save me. I’m okay with whatever punishment I get. I deserve it.”

Taka didn’t say anything for a while. Ten seconds passed, then twenty, then thirty. Then the bed shifted and Mondo felt arms wrap around his torso. A few seconds later, he returned the hug.

Taka’s phone went off and the hug ended as he reached in his pocket to retrieve it. “I set an alarm for twenty-five minutes so that you wouldn’t be late for your meeting with Mr. Kirigiri.”

“So much for my hair,” Mondo said as he flipped the brown part of his hair over to one side. “How do I look?”

Taka looked him over, then reached up and tucked his hair behind his ear. Then he straightened his gang jacket and brushed some hair off of it. “Acceptable. I wish you didn’t have to leave without eating.”

“I’ll eat when I get back,” Mondo said as they walked out of his room, “If I can get out of there before the food freezes over.”

As they headed for the dining hall, Taka stared at the tray in his hands. Mondo didn’t even have to see his face to know that their talk had not put Taka’s mind at ease. He couldn’t say that it settled his mind either. 

At the door, Mondo put a hand on Taka’s shoulder. “Hey, we’ll talk some more later. Don’t let me ruin your day.”

“Don’t ruin your own day,” Taka said as he looked up at him. His crimson eyes never faltered. “I don’t want you to believe that I should be wary of you. You’re still my bro and my dearest best friend. Don’t forget that.”

The short day’s events played in Mondo’s mind as he stared at the ceiling. It was well past midnight, and he was certain that he wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep. After talking to Mr. Kirigiri, Mondo had gone back to his room and had fallen back to sleep. He completely slept through dinner and several phone calls and knocks on his door. 

It wasn’t like the talk with the headmaster had been a stressful one. Mr. Kirigiri talked about the rules of the school, making amends, and some other stuff that Mondo had only halfway listened to. He ended their talk by telling Mondo that he would have to perform community service before and after school. The biker had accepted the punishment without arguing. 

The reason for his exhaustion was probably due to his racing thoughts….and hunger. Now that he thought about it, he couldn’t remember the last time he ate a full meal. He had been mostly eating snacks here and there to convince his friends that he wouldn’t starve. And today, he hadn’t eaten anything. He looked over to the tray of cold, stall food still resting on his nightstand. He decided not to tell Taka that he forgot to eat that before crashing. 

His stomach growled and he sat up. He still needed to eat something. The cafeteria was already closed for the night and wouldn’t be open until 6am. So that only left one option. 

Mondo slipped on his clothes, did his hair and eyeliner, and grabbed some money out of his nightstand. He opened his window and climbed out. He softly shut the window and crept towards the parking lot, carefully ducking under any windows with open curtains or lights. Once at the parking lot, he got on his bike, turned the key, and drove off. He wasn’t really in the mood for anything, so he stopped at a cheap burger place and got a small meal. 

He had planned to come back to the school after grabbing his meal, but he drove past Hope’s Peak and kept going. He needed to feel the wind, the adrenaline, and the road. He needed to drive for real. He needed to forget his problems. 

He slammed his foot on the gas and his motorcycle picked up speed. He flew down the road, dodging the few cars still on the street. He made a sharp turn that made his tires screech, and continued his journey to nowhere in particular. 

He drove for an hour before his stomach reminded him why he had been originally out there. He brought his bike to a stop on the side of the road and took a look around. Behind him was the city. To his left was a dirt path leading into a forest. 

_ “Hey, Mondo, meet me there.” _

He cut across the street, drove onto the dirt path, and began following its familiar twists and turns. He eyed the trees until he found the clearing he hadn’t seen in years. He stopped and parked his bike beside one of the trees.

He walked until he got to the edge of the hill. It dropped off into a cliff with trees underneath it. Far back towards the horizon, the city lights shone brightly. He sat down and ate his burger while looking out at the familiar view.

_ “All of our problems are there in that city. Weird how all that shit can be condensed to one shithole, huh?” _

_ “I know that. You say that every time we come up here.” _

_ “Then you should know what I’m about to say next.” _

He finished off his burger and ate a few of his fries before sighing. “Turn around,” he said aloud. But he didn’t budge. He could almost feel Daiya nudging his shoulder. 

_ “Mom used to say that the prettiest thing she ever saw was a pitch black night,”  _ he could hear Daiya say,  _ “She used to always tell us the story where the car ran out of gas in the middle of nowhere.” _

_ “She did?” _

_ “Yeah, but you always fell asleep before she could finish it. Anyways, she gets out of the car and loses it. Takes a fucking stick and starts beating the shit out of roof of the car. She said she didn’t know how she didn’t wake me up in the back seat. I honestly think you get your temper from her.” _

_ “That’s why you tellin’ me this?” _

_ “Hold on, I’m getting there. Eventually, she stops hittin’ the car and cussin’ and just looks up. Thousands and thousands of stars as far as the eye could see, probably more than what we’re lookin’ at now. It just made her calm down. Then, she remembered that she had a thing of gas in the trunk of the car.” _

_ “Well, that was stupid. She dented the car for no reason.” _

_ “Exactly.” _

_ “....Are you trying to tell me somethin’ in some cryptic ass way?” _

He couldn’t help but to smile as he remembered Daiya’s laugh.

_ “Mondo, you lose you shit too fast. Mom did, too. That’s how I knew bringin’ you out here would work. You remind me a lot of her….Loud as hell, break shit, can’t go past a pet store without making some weird noise, can’t cook for shit, can’t stand my dancing even though she’s the one that taught me. She also had a lot on her mind all the time, and would let it bug the shit out of her without sayin’ a thing. And don’t tell me you don’t do that. You’re doin’ it right now. So what’s wrong, little brother?” _

He turned around and saw the same thousands of stars that Daiya had shown him, that he had marveled at, all those nights ago. They didn’t seem as grand or as bright. There wasn’t anyone there to tell him the meaning of why he was there that night. There weren't any laughs, any talks, any embarrassing dances. It was just him.

His vision blurred as his eyes watered. He missed Daiya. He missed him like he did the night he died. And like that night and every night after, he couldn’t call his older brother and tell him to meet him there. He couldn’t tell him that he was sorry. 

He pulled his jacket closed and shut his eyes. He was tired of crying over the same thing. Daiya had died so long ago. It was time for him to get over it and move on with his life. And yet, thinking about that night made him feel hollow.

And weak.


	5. Numb?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Class talk causes Mondo to snap again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter does contain a scene involving alcohol intoxication, domestic violence, and a brief moment of child abuse.

Mondo eyes opened and he looked around in alarm when he realized that it wasn’t night anymore. He was still sitting on the hill with his bike parked at the bottom. The sky was pink and orange and it was beginning to get warmer. 

He pulled his phone out and saw that the time was 5:14am. “Shit.” He had fallen asleep and now had to race back to school before it was time for him to do community service.

He jumped on his bike and made it back to Hope’s Peak with a little time to spare. He drove into the lot and parked his bike in its previous spot.

“Morning, Mondo.”

He wiped around and found Sakura standing on the sidewalk only a few feet away. “Jesus, scared the hell out of me.” He wasn’t sure how he hadn’t seen her. She wasn’t exactly small by any means. 

“My apologies. I had no intention of sneaking up on you.”

He got off his bike and shrugged. “It’s fine. What are you doin’ out here so early?”

“I’m going on a morning jog with Hina. Morning exercises are important for waking up the body.”

They stood there for a moment, and Mondo wondered if she wanted him to say something. 

Finally, she said, “Are you alright?”

“Huh? Yeah, just went for a drive.”

She crossed her arms and closed her eyes. “That’s not what I meant.” When he didn’t answer, she looked at him again. “You look exhausted.”

“Well, it’s six in the fucking morning. Not exactly a morning kind guy. I gotta go, alright? Headmaster is making me clean some shit.”

He didn’t wait for an answer and walked towards the rooms. He opened his window and slipped in before shutting it. After five quick minutes of touching up his hair and eyeliner, he left his room and headed for the headmaster’s office. 

He passed by the dining hall’s door and considered grabbing something to eat. No, Taka was definitely eating breakfast now. He couldn’t take seeing the bruises on his face or the cast on his arm at that moment. 

“Hey, Mondo,” he heard from behind him. After a good forty-five minutes of cleaning bathrooms, he just wanted to get to his desk and take a nap. But he turned from his locker to the voice he knew belonged to Aoi. 

“Didn’t see you at all yesterday,” she said as she gave him a nervous smile.

“Yeah, I slept through most of it.”

“Um, Mondo, I….” she started before sighing, “Word got around and the whole school knows what happened between you and Taka. Some people are still angry, some don’t care, others are just butting in to butt in, but….Even though I don’t like what you did, I still care about you. And you’re worrying a lot of people.”

“My bad,” he said as he shut his locker and started to walk away.

She jumped in front of him and blocked his path. “Wait, I’m not finished. Taka is worried about you the most and you should talk to him again. But I get it if it’s hard to do that with….all of the reminders,” she said as she gestured to her face, “So if you need someone to talk to, I’m here. So is Sakura, and Leon, Chihiro, Makoto, and Sayaka said so, too. And….I’m sorry about yelling at you on Saturday.”

“What the hell are you apologizing for?”

“I yelled at you and you must have felt horrible already. I was angry, but I didn’t mean to make you run off.”

“Forget it,” he said harshly. The fact that he had nearly cried in front of them was probably all over the school as well. The thought made him want to kick in a door. But he saw how sad Aoi looked and knew he couldn’t leave it at that. “It’s no big deal. You said what needed to be said. You don’t need to apologize for that.”

“Maybe. We should get to class, but talk to someone, okay? Don’t bottle yourself up.”

He nodded and they both headed for class in silence. They were still several minutes early when they arrived, and people were still goofing off or talking to each other. 

“Good morning….” Taka said from his seat. He wasn’t as loud about it as usual and he looked concerned. “How are you?”

Mondo shrugged. Both of their half-assed greetings bothered him and it bothered him even more that Taka’s injuries didn’t seem to have a negative effect on his already hardened mood. In fact, aside from a constant underlying feeling of anger, he felt numb. And the more he felt numb, the more that anger seemed to slip away. 

“I didn’t see you at breakfast, so I got you this,” Taka said as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a granola bar, “It’s not much, but it should hold you over until lunch.”

“Thanks,” he said as he pocketed the wrapped bar, “How ya feelin’?”

“It hurts a little to sit at the desk, but the nurse gave me a pillow to use,” Taka said as he gestured towards the pillow he was leaning against, “I should be in normal working order by next week.”

“Don’t overdo it,” Aoi said, “Make sure to give yourself plenty of time to rest.”

The bell rang and the teacher called for everyone to take their seats. Mondo took his usual spot in the back and dropped his backpack by the wall. He immediately toned out the teacher and started looking through the messages and missed calls on his phone. 

The day dragged on. Ten minutes before lunch, Mondo had already looked through his phone, browsed the internet, and played several rounds of Reddit 50/50. 

“Hey, teacher,” he heard Junko say, “If like, one student murdered another, what would the school do?”

“Uh, that’s an unusual question, Ms. Enoshima,” the teacher struggled to say, “What would make you ask that?”

“Oh, just recent events.”

His phone slipped out of his hands and fell into his lap. He heard several people begin whispering before the teacher called for attention. 

“Alright, settle down. Ms. Enoshima, I would ask that you bring your concerns to the proper department at the proper time. Is this an emergency?”

“Oh, no, just wondering,” Junko said as she looked at her nails. 

“Then why bring it up?” Kyoko asked.

“Oh, d-d-don’t act like w-we don’t have a reason to be concerned,” Toko said as she glared at her. Then her eyes shot to Mondo and she pointed at him. “W-w-we all know what you d-d-did, Owada.”

“Hey, that’s none of your business!” Aoi yelled.

“Class, please!” the teacher shouted.

“It is if w-w-we’re in the same class as a wild animal!”

“Says the resident jungle freak,” Leon shot back. 

“I find it interesting that you two are defending the delinquent so aggressively,” Byakuya said as he lifted his head from the book he had been reading, “Even stranger is how loyal Ishimaru has stayed to Owada. Aren’t you all talk about justice and following the rules?”

“This discussion is unnecessary,” Taka said for everyone to hear, “Right now is a time of learning and obtaining our future success. We should stop this meaningless chatter and give the instructor our undivided attention!”

“Thank you, Mr. Ishimaru, I-”

“H-h-he’s wrapped around O-owada’s fingers like a p-p-pet,” Toko interrupted the teacher to stutter out. Her face went pink and she hugged herself. “Is that why you’re defending him? Are you hardcore submitting to him?”

“Alright, fuck off, everyone!” Mondo yelled, causing Hiro to sit up out of his sleep, “Mind your own Goddamn business and drop it.”

“Oooo, someone is fired up,” Junko to her sister. 

The numbing feeling from before was rapidly going away. 

“And he finally speaks,” Byakuya sneered as he closed his book, “Care to add something to the conversation other than your usual street urchin babblings?” 

“Oh, I’ll fucking add somethin’ alright,” he said as he stood from his desk. 

Aoi and Leon stood to block Mondo’s path to Byakuya and Sakura grabbed his arm. 

“Hey, he isn’t worth it, man,” Leon said to him, “He’s all talk.”

“How dare you say that about my White Knight?!” Toko said as she stood, “Take it back!”

“Holy shit, dude,” Hiro said, “This classroom is out of control!”

“Sit down, Toko,” Byakuya said, which she did immediately, “There’s no need to get worked up over people that don’t matter.”

Mondo was seeing red now and only Sakura’s iron grip kept him from launching himself at the arrogant blonde. “You’ve got some fucking balls, you little shit. I should kick your Goddamn teeth in!”

“Am I supposed to be afraid of that empty threat?” 

He was shaking with anger. He no longer saw Aoi, Leon, or the rest of the class. He no longer heard the teacher trying to control the classroom or Taka trying to help. He didn’t feel Aoi or Leon’s hands trying to push his back. All he saw or heard was the Togami pain in his ass in front of him. And he wanted nothing more than to wring his neck.

He pushed forward and tried with all his might to pull himself free of Sakura’s hold, but she wouldn’t budge. He pulled and twisted his arm till it hurt. He wasn’t even conscious of what he was saying anymore, just knew that it was directed towards Byakuya. 

His other hand swung and Sakura caught the fist in her hand. With one smooth pull, she pushed him against the wall behind her and pushed both of his arms against his chest. No matter how much he fought, he couldn’t unpin himself. 

“You don’t want to do this,” she said to him calmly, “Relax.”

He was far from relaxed and although he wasn’t gaining anything, he kept trying to push his arms free. “GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME!”

“Kyodai, please,” he heard someone say to his right. He turned and reaching over his desk to place a hand on his shoulder was Taka. The red eyed boy pulled his hand back, probably because of the crazed look Mondo shot at him. 

It hit him that he probably looked insane right then, shaking, growling, and trying to fight off Sakura. He had actually thrown a punch at her. 

At a girl!

He slowly stopped struggling as he continued to look at Taka. Mondo was doing it again, like he had the night he fought him. He was out of control. Had Aoi or Leon grabbed him instead of Sakura, his punch might have landed and he would’ve seriously hurt them. What if Taka had tried to stop him again?

All the anger in him burned itself out, leaving him numb again with a knot in his stomach. His shoulders sagged and he looked down at his hands as Sakura let him go. 

The bell for lunch rang and most of the class jumped at the chance to leave the tense situation, leaving him, Sakura, Taka, Aoi, Leon, and Chihiro still in the room. 

“That was way too close,” Leon mumbled.

“I-Is e-everyone okay?” Chihiro said as he walked over to them.

“Physically, I believe so,” Sakura said. She grabbed Mondo’s arm and pulled the sleeve of his jacket down, revealing a bruise where she had been holding him. 

“It’s fine,” he said quietly as he pulled his arm away.

“I’m not asking anymore,” Taka said, his voice shaking, “I am taking you to the counselor’s office this instant. You are not okay.”

“No fucking different from how I’ve always been,” he shot back, but there wasn’t any anger in his voice, “Mom couldn’t fix me, brother couldn’t fix me, you can’t fix me, and a damn counselor isn’t gonna to do shit.”

“What is it that needs to be fixed?” Aoi said softly, “What’s wrong?”

He shook his head and went past everyone. They all tried to get him to stay, but moved aside for him to pass. Only Taka blocked him from leaving at the door. 

“No, I won’t let you tear yourself down anymore, do you hear me?!” 

“Taka, move,” he said as he tried to nudge him aside. 

The hall monitor slapped his hand away. “I mean it! I cannot allow this to continue. If you believe that we are truly friends, brothers, you will understand why I can’t stand aside.”

“Yeah, bro, I get it,” he said blankly as he stared at him, “You’re a good friend, Kiyotaka. You deserve a better one.”

“I don’t want a better friend,” Taka said he shook his head. Tears were beginning to stream from his red eyes. “I want my first one back, the best one. I want you back."

“....I’m sorry, Taka, I keep fucking things up.”

“Then let us help you. Let me help you.”

“....You….kinda remind me of Daiya. He was always there for me.”

“That’s what brothers do, right? They stay by each other's side and-”

“Stay away from me.”

“Wha….What?” Taka breathed as his eyes went big in disbelief. “I….I-I don’t….I don’t understand-”

“Stay. Away. From me.” Mondo said, making sure to put as much malice and rage as he could muster into every syllable. He heard Aoi gasp and he was sure that the others had a similar reaction.

Stunned, Taka was left speechless. Mondo moved by him, tensing when he heard him wince, and headed for his room. He immediately locked his door and sat on his bed. 

Even in the silence, it was hard to process what had just happened. He knew he should’ve felt something, but he only felt numb and cold. Numbness that weighed his arms down and made his fingers tingle, and a shilling cold that ran across his skin, even though his room was warm. He felt cut off from everything. 

He heard his doorbell and he didn’t move. It went off a second, third, then fourth time, and he still didn’t budge. Only when the knocking started did he get up. But instead of going to the door, he went to the window and left.

_ “Come on, get your homework done,” a young Daiya said as he nudged the smaller boy.  _

_ “Don’t get why we have to learn about planets,” Mondo said as he raised his head from the table, “When the hell is knowing about Jupiter gonna come in handy?” _

_ “Just be glad it’s easy. Mom is gonna be pissed if you fail the first grade because of this.” _

_ “Fine, Jesus.” He stared at the sheet in front of him and answered one question before groaning. He was about to complain again when they heard a car pull into the driveway. “Mom’s home!” _

_ They both got up and ran from their room to the front door. Daiya opened it and they both peered their heads out in time to see the headlights of their mom’s car turn off. They waited, but their mom took her time getting out of the car. She stumbled a few times as she got out of the driver’s side and slammed the door much harder than she needed to.  _

_ “Shit,” Diaya whispered under his breath, “Get inside.” _

_ “Aren’t we waiting on Mom?” Mondo asked as he watched her head for the door.  _

_ Daiya pulled him from the screen door roughly and they both stood back as their mother came into the house.  _

_ The first thing Mondo noticed was that she had a huge, dark bruise on her cheek and her makeup was smeared. Her hair was in a messy ponytail and the look she gave them was a stern one.  _

_ She said something quietly, so quietly that Mondo couldn’t hear what she said. “Answer me!” she shouted when neither of her sons spoke. _

_ “We were just doing homework,” Daiya answered quickly. He grabbed onto Mondo’s hand.  _

_ “That’s good. You’re good boys,” their mom said as she threw her purse down onto the floor and shut the door, “You aren’t like the bastards at work. No, those pieces of trash can go fuck themselves.”  _

_ “Did one of them hit you?” Mondo said as he pointed to his own cheek. _

_ “Yeah, they hit Mommy, but Mommy hit ‘em back and a lot harder too,” she said as she walked up to them, “Men are fuckin’ pigs, but not my boys.” She bent down and placed a hand on Mondo’s cheek, which made him smile. “Such angels.” _

_ There was a weird, strong smell that came off of her breath, one that reminded Mondo of rubbing alcohol.  _

_ Then she looked over at Daiya and rubbed his cheek with her thumb. “What’s wrong, baby?” _

_ “....You’ve been drinking again.” _

_ “I’ve been drinking again?” she repeated as she took her hand off his face, “And what if I have been? Baby, Momma had a rough day. You’re not an adult.” She leaned really close to Daiya’s ear, but she still spoke loud enough for Mondo to hear. “You don’t get to tell me what to fucking do.” _

_ The older boy stayed completely still as she pulled away from him and looked him in the eyes.  _

_ “Do you hear me, both of you?” she said as she looked at them, “I am an adult! You don’t get to boss me around just because you have fucking dicks!” _

_ Mondo flinched and gripped Daiya’s hand tighter. He wasn’t sure why their mother was so angry with them. She had just called them angels.  _

_ “Mom, you’re scaring us,” Daiya said as he squeezed his hand back.  _

_ She suddenly knocked Daiya back against the wall with her arm, wrenching their hands apart. She pinned him there and got inches from his face. “Oh, tough guy’s scared of a bitch. Whatcha gonna do, bastard?” _

_ “Let him go!” Mondo yelled. He didn’t know what was going on, but he knew this wasn’t the way that their mom normally acted and Daiya hadn’t done anything wrong. He pushed against her and hit her arm to try and get her off of his brother.  _

_ But she was much stronger than him and pushed him back. He fell on his butt and barely had time to react before she pulled him closer by the ankle, making him fall onto his back. _

_ “You don’t do that! You don’t fucking do that!” She slapped him across the face hard. “Don’t you ever hit a female again or I’ll take you out before she can, do you hear me?! Do you hear me?!” _

_ He tried to answer out of fear that he would be hit again, but instead he started balling. He curled into a ball and started crying harder when he felt her pull on his arm. She pulled him to her and hugged him to her chest. _

_ “I’m sorry, baby,” she said as she kissed and rubbed his head, “I didn’t mean that. Mommy’s drunk….I shouldn’t be drinking, God, I shouldn’t be drinking….Come here.” _

_ He felt Daiya bump into him as he too was pulled into a hug.  _

_ “No more drinking, no more….shit, I’m sorry.” _

_ She stood up, swaying and stumbling, and carried them to the couch. She sat down hard and wrapped her arms around them both. “Shh, shh, no more crying, Mondo, you’re a big boy. You’re a good boy, both of you are. I know you just wanted to protect your brother. But don’t hit girls, okay? You’re not like the men at work.” _

_ He finally opened his eyes and wiped his face on his sleeve. He could see Daiya laying on the other side of their mom. His face seemed blank, but he was hugging her back.  _

_ “Okay,” he whimpered as he laid back against his mom and wrapped his arms around her.  _

_ Several minutes later, she began to snore softly.  _

_ “She really is sorry,” Daiya said quietly, “She won’t remember everything immediately, but she’ll feel really bad when she does. She’ll probably make hot pot after she’s done throwing up. Try to be quiet tomorrow. She’ll have a really big headache. Okay?”  _

_ When Mondo didn’t answer, Daiya placed a hand on his back. “I’m sorry you got hurt for me.” _

_ “It’s okay,” he whispered. He wasn’t sure if Daiya heard him, but he didn’t say anything else.  _

_ He listened to his mother snore and a weird feeling came over him. He was still so confused, but the fear was replaced with numbness. He wasn’t sure if it was because he was tired, or because he didn’t know what to do, but his body felt heavier than normal. It felt like he could sink into the couch. _

_ So he closed his eyes and hoped that everything would go back to normal in the morning.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I edited this chapter, I questioned whether or not to keep it this heavy. Then again, this entire story was meant to be very emotional, so we'll see how this goes. Thank you so much for all the reads, the kudos, and the comments. You guys have really encouraged me to tell this story how I originally intended. 
> 
> This is kind of therapeutic. I tend to not realize how stressed out I am until I'm greatly effected. For example, the part where I described Mondo feeling cold and numb is from a personal experience that I had around the time that I wrote this chapter. I thought I was just a little stressed but the more I wrote, the more I realized that I'm doing the same thing that Mondo is doing; bottling it up. Mental health is important and should not be taken for granted. Thankfully, I'm not going through something as big as in this story, but mental health is important no matter how small it feels. That concludes this unplanned PSA. Go mental health!
> 
> Stay tune for the next chapter coming soon.


	6. Breaking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's finally time to visit Daiya.

Mondo got off of his motorcycle and slowly walked down the driveway. He was back home, the busted house that he had shared with his small family. There were a lot of memories connected to this place, both good and bad. He climbed up the porch steps and walked up to the door. 

He paused there for a few seconds, unsure of what he was going to say. Deciding that he could figure it out as he went, he opened the screen door and knocked. 

A few seconds later, a short woman answered the door. Her red hair was pulled into a messy bun. “Jesus, Mondo, we weren’t expecting you until later.”

“Yeah, well, decided to skip the rest of class. Couldn’t focus on a damn thing anyway.”

She nodded, then pulled him into a hug. “How ya feelin’?”

“Like shit,” he said as he hugged her back, “You?”

“Same,” she said with a sigh, “It’s weird. I thought I’d be used to this by now.” She broke the hug and sniffed. “ Oh, come in.” 

He followed her in and shut the door behind them. He took a moment to look around the front room. When Mondo had been accepted into Hope’s Peak Academy, he had left the house to his second in command, Takemichi, to watch over until he graduated. For the most part, he had left the place unchanged. Yeah, same table, same couch, same glitchy tv. 

“Michi ran out to grab a few things from the store and some of the guys are on their way here,” she said as she walked back into the kitchen, “Come here and tell me if this smells right.”

He crossed the threshold of the kitchen and could immediately smell what she was cooking: coconut chicken hot pot. His stomach immediately reminded him that he hadn’t eaten anything that day. “Damn, Molly, you’ve out done yourself.”

“Thanks,” she said as she stirred the soup around, “I wanted to do something special this time.” She stopped stirring and smiled at him. “On my way over here, a song came on the radio that reminded me of him. I remember a time when I would’ve had to pull over or change the station. But I was able to keep driving just fine.” She turned away and started wiping a spill off the counter. “And you wouldn’t let anyone change his room. Now, it’s Michi’s room.”

“Do you have a problem with him havin’ the room?”

“No, it’s fine. It’s good. I think we’re starting to move on,” she said as she looked back at him. 

“It’s not like we have a fucking choice,” he said as he pulled the granola bar Taka had given him out of his pocket. “He’s not gonna walk through the damn door anytime soon.”

“I know. I just….I know how hard it was for me and I can’t imagine how hard it’s been for you. We’ve come a long way from that awful night.”

He nodded and bit into the granola bar, despite feeling sick to his stomach. Aside from himself, Molly had taken Daiya’s death the hardest. She had screamed and cried when she found out that the man she loved had been hit by a truck. And yet, she had put her own grief on the back burner several times to make sure Mondo was okay when he was living alone. And that made the guilt he felt even worse. 

And now she was trying to do it again. “What are you planning to do after high school?”

He shrugged. “Carpentry. Thought about maybe building things for change.”

She nodded. “I can see that. I think Daiya would be proud of that. I think there’s a lot about you that he would be proud of.”

He frowned and threw the rest of the bar in the trash. “Tsk, yeah right.”

“What? I really think so. You lead the Crazy Diamonds, you’re currently going to a fancy high school, and was named ‘Ultimate Biker Gang Leader’. Mondo, you’ve probably blown his expectations out of the fucking water. I know I’m proud of you.”

“If you say so.”

Molly raised her eyebrows in worry. “Hey, what’s up?”

Just then, he wanted to tell her. He wanted to tell her so badly that it was his fault that this day had to happen, that it was his fault that she was making hot pot instead of Daiya, and that it was his fault that his brother was dead. He wanted to apologize for killing her boyfriend. But he swallowed the lump in his throat and shook his head. “I just want this fuckin’ day to be over.”

After a while, Takemichi and some members of the Crazy Diamonds arrived and after some catching up, started setting up for the night. Mondo helped out anyway he could, mostly to avoid conversation. Whenever someone spoke about Daiya, he would nod or say a few words, then quickly get back to work. 

Two hours later, several plastic tables had been unfolded in the backyard with chairs set up around them, Molly’s food had finished, and nearly everyone had arrived. They would be going to the cemetery soon. 

Mondo stood in the bathroom, trying to decide if he was going to throw up or not. He was happy to see the gang again, but not on this day. He would have to hear things like, “There was nothing you could do,” or “He’d be so proud,” or “If he hadn’t been so reckless”. Just thinking about it made him want to vomit.

He dug into his pockets for his phone. He was so tempted to call Taka. He wanted to hear him say something optimistic. He wanted to hear him say anything, really. But then he remembered that he had told him to stay away from him. He had probably broken his sensitive heart. Now he wanted to apologize for that, too. But his phone wasn’t in either of his jacket pockets, or his pants pockets.

Knock. Knock. “You still in there?,” Takemichi said from the other side of the bathroom door, “It’s almost time.”

“I’ll be out in a sec. Hey, have you seen- Nevermind, I’m comin’.” He would have to find his phone later. Right now, he had to set aside how he felt. Right now, it was about Daiya. He figured he at least owned his older brother that much. 

He looked at himself in the mirror. He had on his white jacket, the symbol of the leaders of the Crazy Diamonds. And he was going to honor Diaya, Michi, and himself by keeping it together while he had on this jacket. 

He left the bathroom and joined everyone outside. The last of the items for the trip were placed into Molly’s truck before she closed the trunk and hopped into the driver’s seat. Mondo climbed onto his bike and rode to the front of the gang. Michi and the other elite guard members took their places around him. He looked behind him and saw the others fall in line with Molly’s truck in the back. 

He turned back towards the road and revved his engine, signaling the others to rev their engines as well, before speeding down the street with the rest of the gang keeping pace. They rode proudly down the main streets, even passed by a few cop cars on the way. Those officers knew that today was not the day to mess with them. They were a deadly blur of headlights to anyone who happened to peek out their windows or walk by.

When they arrived at the cemetery, they immediately set to work grabbing what they needed from Molly’s trunk with Mondo overseeing it. Michi and the rest of the elite guards stood close by him and kept watch. They weren’t expecting any trouble, but they hadn’t become the best by slacking off.

Mondo grabbed his stuff before Molly walked up to him. She had changed into a simple black dress, one of the last things Diaya had bought her, and was carrying a large bouquet of flowers. She looped her arm around his and they began walking into the gates of the cemetery. Everyone else followed suit.

It was eerily quiet. No wind, no dogs barking, not even the occasional cough. The only sound was their footsteps softly hitting the ground.

They walked until they came to the center of the field. A simple , large, cube shaped stone sat on a polished slab. The name “Oowada” was carved largely into the front, and under that carved smaller were “Emiko” and “Diaya”. Flowers and various offerings from incense to diamond shaped tokens covered the grave from people who had already come to pay their respects, mostly to the fallen Diamond Brother. 

Mondo and Molly went up first and laid their flowers with the rest. Mondo also placed a few coins, before running his hand across both names. It always unnerved him how Diaya and his mother had been the only blood relatives he had known. His mom hadn’t introduced them to any family. So, she had been the first name on this grave…..and his name would mostly likely be the last. 

He forced himself up and stood aside with Molly as Michi paid his respects. It still remained eerily quiet. 

The complete opposite of how it had been that night. 

_“Jesus, what the fuck happened?!”_

_That was the first thing he heard when he walked back into Diaya’s retirement party. Everyone was looking at him in horror. Why wouldn’t they be? His front was still covered in blood and he was sure that his eyeliner was smeared to hell. He looked back at everyone with a blank stare as he tried to clear his mind long enough to figure out what to say._

_Takemichi and someone else quickly led him over to a chair and sat him down gently. “Hey,” Michi said, “Mondo, look at me. Where’s Daiya? Were you guys jumped?”_

_“....He’s gone,” he forced out, “Diaya’s dead.”_

_The house was in an uproar as several men began asking questions, repeating the news, or mostly calling for revenge._

_“Everyone, shut it!” Michi called over the gang, “Let the man speak.”_

_“Let me through!” a female said as she pushed through several men. It was Molly, looking worried, then terrified when she saw how Mondo looked. “Oh shit….no, no, i-it’s not….Mondo, where’s Diaya?”_

_“Molly, he just said-”_

_“Can it, Michi!” she said sharply, “What happened to him?”_

_“....Truck….A fucking truck hit him,” Mondo said as he struggled to control his voice, “We were racing and he drove into traffic to try and pull ahead. By the time we saw it….there wasn’t shit either of us could do.”_

_Molly stood frozen, staring at him. Silence washed over the house as everyone took in what he said. For a split second, you could hear a penny drop. Then, Molly let out a scream that made every man in that house go pale. She fell to her knees and started sobbing into her hands._

_Some men moved to comfort her, but Mondo stood and they backed off. He walked over to where she sat and kneeled down in front of her. It was surreal seeing her broken down like this. Molly, the girl unafraid to ride with the leader of the Crazy Diamonds or anyone for that matter, was broken._

_“He can’t be gone,” she sobbed, “This has to be a dream, this isn’t fucking real! H-he wouldn’t be so stupid, he wouldn’t….Please tell me he isn’t-” She suddenly looked up from her hands at him and gasped. Then, she wrapped Mondo in a hug. “I’m so sorry, Mondo. I’m so sorry.”_

_The hug took him by surprise and he had to blink several times to keep tears from falling. In all honesty, he’d be a broken mess too if it wasn’t for the fact that he was the leader._

_Shit, he was the leader._

_He stood up with her and turned to the gang. “I got to talk to Diaya one last time before he died. With his last breath, he made me promise somethin’….to keep this gang together. And you guys know better than anyone that I don’t break promises, and I sure as hell ain’t breakin’ this one. I’m gonna make sure my brother’s promise is kept, even if it kills me! Anybody got any objections to that? None? Good, cuz I’m about to be the best Goddamn leader anyone has ever seen, no matter how many heads I gotta bust or punks I gotta race. I’m not letting Diaya’s memory end tonight!”_

_The house was in an uproar again, this time in approval. His name, Diaya’s name, and the gang’s name was chanted and toasted to before Mondo slipped out onto the porch with Molly._

_She hadn’t said a word since she had hugged him. She seemed to have gained some control over herself, but she was still shaking hard and sniffling. “Mondo….I know you have to be tough. It comes with the job. You two….would do it all the time. But….you know me. You don’t have to be tough around me.”_

_He slid his jacket off and draped it over her. He instantly regretted it when he saw how bloody it was. But Molly didn’t protest and seemed to shake less._

_“Was he in pain?” she asked quietly._

_“....He didn’t show it.”_

_She nodded, then wiped her eyes. “I loved that man. I wanted to marry him. He wanted me to learn how to drive a motorcycle so I could ride beside him, not just behind him.”_

_“I’m sorry.”_

_“Huh? For what?”_

_He quickly shut his mouth. He couldn’t risk it. He made a promise to Diaya and if that promise meant keeping what really happened a secret, so be it._

_She reached up and wiped her thumb across his cheek. “I won’t tell the guys if you cry. Just don’t hold it in. What you saw, what you’re dealing with-”_

_“I’ll deal with it,” he said suddenly as he wiped his face, “That’s what a leader does.”_

_“Yes, but not now, please not now. You’re still like a little brother to me. I know how close you and Diaya were. Goddamn it, no one in their right mind should think any less of you for grieving!”_

_“I grieved enough when it happened. He would want me to move on.”_

_“But you’re not moving on. You’re bottling it up like you always do. That shit can kill you, Mondo, and I don’t want to lose someone else.”_

“To Diaya!”

“To Diaya!”

Mondo snapped out of his thoughts and drank the shot in his hand. They came back from the cemetery, ate, and now they’re toasting to Diaya outside. Or at least, he thought he ate. Did he eat?

“He was a great leader,” he heard someone say, “It’s just a damn shame how he went out.”

“Mondo, you okay?” Michi said as he nudged him, “You haven’t touched your bowl.”

That’s right, he hadn’t eaten. He just got his bowl. “Uh, yeah, just thinkin’.”

“You’ve been doing a lot of that lately,” the smaller boy said as he leaned on one of the tables, “Would it be something you could tell me?”

He set his shot glass and bowl down on the table and shrugged. “It’s nothing. I’m just….overthinkin’ shit.”

“Reckless, and on his last day, too,” he overheard, “How good of a leader could he of been?”

“Hey, you should watch who overhears you,” someone else said. 

“No, I’m serious. Why the fuck are we toasting to a guy that fucked himself over?”

Michi must have overheard them too, because his hand was on Mondo’s arm. “I’ll take care of it.”

“No, I’ll do it,” Mondo growled as he pulled his arm free. He turned around and spotted the offender. He was a tall, scrawny looking guy with a mullet. He vaguely recalled that the guy had joined the gang maybe a month prior. 

But it didn’t matter if he was a rookie, veteran, or stranger; nobody disrespects Daiya and gets away with it. 

Mondo moved through the crowd and his fist connected with the guy’s face before the rookie saw him coming. The unfortunate fellow stumbled back into one of the tables and tried to ready himself to fight back. Mondo grabbed him by the front of his shirt, ready to pummel him. 

The rookie reached into his pocket and pulled out a pistol, but couldn’t get it aimed before Michi pinned his arm to the table. But the weapon distracted Mondo long enough for him to score a punch across the Ultimate Biker Leader’s mouth. 

After that, Mondo was only aware of one thing; driving his fists into this man’s body. He couldn’t feel if he was being hit back or if other people had joined the fight. He wasn’t even aware if Michi was still beside him. He had blacked out with one goal in mind and that was to beat the rookie until he felt like stopping. 

But other people had plans and he eventually was able to feel multiple hands and bodies holding him back. When he became fully aware of his surroundings again, the rookie was unconscious on the ground with half of his face bruised and bleeding, and one of his arms twisted in a weird way. 

“He’s had enough,” he heard Michi say, “He’s done.”

Mondo pulled his arms out of everyone’s grasp and looked down at the offender. “Don’t know or give a shit if you can hear me, but you’d better get the hell out. Any asshole who has the fucking nerve to talk about my brother like that doesn’t belong in the gang he started!”

Two members helped the guy up and walked him to the door. 

“Anyone else wanna talk shit?!” Mondo said as he turned to everyone else.

The backyard fell silent. 

“Mondo, I need to talk to you for a sec,” Michi said as he started heading for the back door, “We need to figure out what to do with this gun.”

Mondo shot one more look at everyone, then followed Michi to his old room. Adrenaline still coarse through his vein and he was vaguely aware of how hard he was breathing.

“What the hell was that?” Michi said after closing the door.

“I wasn’t gonna let that motherfucker get away with that!”

“That’s fine. What I’m talking about is the way you did it. Were you really trying to kill him?”

“What are you talking about?”

“You kept screaming that you were going to kill him and at one point, you tried to strangle him. You made him pass out. Look, I understand that he needed to be taught a lesson, but you can’t threaten to kill members like that. Half of the guys out there are probably wondering if they’re next.”

“I don’t remember that.”

“What?”

“I only remember hitting him.”

“Jesus, Mondo, are you losing it?”

“Oh course I’m not!!” 

“Okay, just asking,” Michi said as he laid the gun on the dresser, “But I do think the stress is getting to you.”

“I’m fine,” he said through his teeth. 

“No, you’re not. You just came back from your family’s grave. Take a minute and cool off, okay?”

He wanted to push past him, but he sat on the bed instead.

Michi leaned against the dresser. “I see why Molly wanted me to talk to you.”

“Why the hell is she being so nosey?”

Michi stayed silent. They both knew the answer to that. It was because Mondo was still Daiya’s little brother, thus still making him family in her eyes. He clutched the sleeve of his jacket as he thought how that would change if she knew the truth. 

“Don’t dwell in the past,” Michi said, “You’ve probably replayed that damn race in your head a hundred times today.”

“And if I have?”

“Then you’re killing yourself,” Michi said calmly, “You’re blaming yourself for something you had no control over.”

Mondo could hear his heart pounding in his ears and his skin heat up. He clenched his fists till his knuckles turned white. “Don’t start talkin’ shit like you were there.”

“You’ve told me what happened over and over. You said it yourself that Daiya was struck before either of you could do anything. Isn’t that true?”

He could feel his own nails digging into his skin as he clenched his fists harder. “That’s right,” he forced out.

“Then you don’t have a reason to blame yourself. And before you say that you asked him to the race, that’s not what killed him. He made a bad call. That’s hard to hear, but he did and he wouldn’t want you to beat yourself up over something he chose to do. If it were you, you wouldn’t want him to feel like this, would you?”

But it had been him. He had made the bad call. He felt like he was going to puke or throw something or both. He wanted to scream at the top of his lungs that it was his fault. 

“Hey, Mondo?”

He looked over at Michi, who was still leaning against the dresser. “Uh, yeah.” He forced everything down, just like he was used to. “You’re right. Thanks for setting me straight.”

There was a crashing sound from out in the living room and someone started yelling.

“For the love of-I’ll be back,” Michi said as he opened the door, “Take a few more minutes to breathe and I’ll try to see what these assholes just broke.”

The door closed and Mondo was left alone in his room. He opened his hands and saw cuts in his palms. His hands were also trembling. No, his entire body was trembling. He suddenly realized that he didn’t want to be in his old room anymore, or the house him and Daiya used to share. Him, Daiya, their mother, Chuck. 

He didn’t want to be anywhere anymore. 

Still shaking, he stood and made his way to the window. He opened it with the intent to climb out. But was he really about to leave this gathering for Daiya? That felt disrespectful. But he wasn’t sure if he could stand it anymore if he stayed. 

He looked back at the room, trying to convince himself to power through the rest of the night. Then, his eyes fell onto the dresser. He walked over to it, grabbed the gun, slipped it into his pocket, and then climbed out the window. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone has been having a decent week. With Christmas rolling around, I know it's hard to stay dedicated to something. So, thank you to everyone who've been reading and will read in the future. This story has robbed me of many hours of sleep, but when inspiration calls, I eventually listen....kinda.  
> Feel free to leave a comment about what you liked, didn't like, questions, concerns, and what not. I answer to all the comments and love getting feedback. It's one of my favorite parts of writing.


	7. The Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter contains two suicide attempts. Do not read if that is a trigger for you.  
> Traumatic memories become too much and Mondo's secret is finally revealed.

_ Mondo’s blood boiled as he watched his brother get congratulated for what felt like the hundredth time. Yeah, he was happy for him too, but his bitterness and fear were outweighing any joy he had for Daiya’s retirement.  _

_ “Hey, you sure you can’t stay leader for another year or two?” he heard one of the members asked Daiya. _

_ “Wish I could, but it’s time for me to do something else with my life,” Daiya said as he flashed a toothy grin, “Gotta eventually settle down, you know? You guys will be in good hands with Mondo. Kid knows what he’s doin’.” _

_ “I don’t know. He’s a good biker and a damn good fighter but I don’t know about leader. Sorry but your brother is a bit of a loose cannon. Plus, you made this group, not him.” _

_ Mondo wanted to walk right up to the guy and cave his teeth in, but Daiya would kick his ass in front of everyone if he attacked a member without a good reason. No need to give the gang another reason to doubt him. But there was another way to show everyone that he was as good, no, better than Daiya. He had to be better if he was going to get everyone on his side.  _

_ He stood and walked up to Daiya just as he was about to light a cigarette. “Race me. Down the highway and back.” _

_ “Damn, right now?” _

_ “Yeah, right now. Let’s see if you still got it.” _

_ “I don’t think you’re doin’ this to see if I can do anything, but alright. Down the highway and back it is.” Daiya slipped the cigarette back in its pack and followed Mondo outside. _

_ They both got on their bikes and started their engines. Several men gathered around them to cheer and send them off.  _

_ Michi ran outside and took his place at the end of the driveway. “First one back here wins. On your mark, get set, GO!” _

_ Mondo slammed down on the gas and sped out of the driveway with Daiya right next to him. As they turned the corner and hit the main street, Daiya pulled ahead. Mondo growled and made his bike go at max speed.  _

_ He refused to lose, no matter what. _

He was able to slip back into Hope’s Peak Academy through his bedroom window without anyone noticing. He wasn’t sure if he was relieved or disappointed with that. He closed the window and sat down on his bed. 

He stared at the wall in silence for a few minutes before slipping the gun out of his jacket pocket. He popped the clip out. Yeah, there were bullets. 

He had only held a gun a few times and had actually fired even less. Bikers preferred to use their fists or a melee weapon, or even their bikes over a firearm. A gun seemed like a cheap way to win a fight. 

He reloaded the pistol before turning it over in his hands. It was bizarre that this little thing could kill him with a well aimed shot. He was almost skeptical, but not enough to be calm. He was scared out of his mind. 

The entire drive there he had tried to talk himself into turning around and putting the gun back before anyone noticed. But his body didn’t seem to listen and now he was sitting on his bed with a deadly weapon in his hands. 

He swallowed and took the safety off.

_ He was still behind Daiya. How was he still losing?! They were racing back down the highway and would be driving in the neighborhood in less than a few minutes. No matter how hard he tried to get around Daiya, his brother would just block him. If they hit the main street and he wasn’t ahead, he’d lose for sure. _

_ He glared at the back of Daiya’s white jacket. He wanted that jacket, that title, more than anything. That was the only thing he still had going for him. And he was going to be the best at it.  _

_ He leaned sharply and sped up towards oncoming cars. He swerved and drove between vehicles as the drivers either turned or slammed on their breaks. He thought he heard Daiya yell out to him, but he only paid attention to the fact that he was yelling from behind him. Finally, he was winning.  _

_ He swerved around another car…. _

_ And right into the path of a truck.  _

_ There was the screeching of tires as the truck tried to stop. Mondo was caught in the headlights, unable to scream or react as his body braced for what was surely going to kill him. Time seemed to slow down as he shut his eyes. He heard the truck’s horn blar and someone screaming his name.  _

_ Then he was knocked off his bike and sent tumbling across the asphalt. The horrible sound of metal crushing metal filled his ears. He stopped on his back and opened his eyes to the dark sky above.  _

_ He forced himself to sit up, though his ears were still ringing and the constantly blaring of a horn gave him a headache. He slowly looked towards the source of the sound. Spilling out from under the no longer moving truck were bits of metal and a wheel. _

_ At first he thought it was his bike, but it was next to him, turned on its side with the front wheel still spinning. He turned back to the crash as dread creeped in. People were going to the front of the truck and looking at something. He heard several people screaming. _

_ He ran towards the commotion, hoping that Daiya would be in the crowd. His legs felt like lead but he kept going, praying that his brother was fine.  _

_ He shielded his eyes from the headlights. Blood coated the front of the truck, still dripping from it like paint. Pink was splattered across the ground. Halfway under the front of the truck, was Daiya.  _

_ Mondo tried to scream but there wasn’t enough air in his lungs. He dropped to his knees instead and wrapped his arms around Daiya’s shoulders before pulling him out. A few other men joined in and helped carry him to a clear spot on the road. Once they lowered him, he cradled him in his arms.  _

_ “Daiya, can you hear me?” he barely got out.  _

He walked over to his door and checked to see if it was locked. He didn’t want one of his classmates finding him first, especially not his friends. Especially not Taka. He shook his head and went back to his bed. He slowly raised the gun to his head. He was more scared than he had ever been in his life. 

_ “M-my bad, kid,” Daiya groaned. “I fucked up….Sorry.” _

_ “Shut up, you didn’t do anything,” Mondo said as tears began to fall.  _

_ “The rest is up to you.” He smiled through the pain and looked up at him. “No matter what, you….you gotta keep the gang together. Cuz….cuz it’s the team….you and me put together.” _

_ He could feel his brother start to go limp in his arms. “No, you’re the strongest out of all of us. You’re….you’re gonna be….” _

He pressed it to his temple, the barrel trembling from his hand. He held his breath and squeezed his eyes shut. 

_ “It’s...a pro….” Daiya’s eyes closed and he clung to Mondo’s shirt as a tear ran down his face, “....promise…..between men….” He opened his eyes and looked at Mondo again. It looked like there was so much he wanted to say. Then, his stare softened and he relaxed before his eyes closed and he slumped over.  _

_ Finally, Mondo did scream. He screamed and cried as he pulled Daiya’s body into a hug. He didn’t care who saw. It felt like his life was ending right with Daiya’s and nothing else mattered. Daiya had been a majority of his life. He had been his brother, his best friend, his father, and now his savior.  _

_ And in return, he had been his downfall. _

The gun hit the wall and clattered to the ground. He couldn’t do it. 

He raced for his bedroom door and threw it open. He didn’t even bother to close it as he made a beeline for Taka’s room. He rang the doorbell, then banged on the door.

“Uh, Mr. Kiyotaka Ishimaru isn’t there.”

He turned around to find Hifumi standing behind him. “What? T-then where is he?”

“Him and the others are upstairs in the dojo. There’s some sort of arm wrestling match going-”

Mondo didn’t listen to the rest as he ran for the stairs. He climbed each flight without stopping and ran down the hall until he made it to the open door of the dojo. Nearly everyone from Class 78 and 77 were packed into the room, cheering and yelling. He could barely see Sakura and Nekomaru Nidai sitting at a table, already locked in an intense arm wrestling match. 

He tapped on the closest person’s shoulder, which happened to be Chiaki Nanami. “Hey, is Taka in here?”

“Uhh,” she said as she rubbed her eyes, “He’s the one always in uniform, right? He’s on the other side, I think. I’ll go get him.”

He watched her move through the crowd until she disappeared. He started pacing as he tried to think of what to say. Taka, I almost committed suicide? No, that might destroy the innocent moral compass. Now that he thought of it, why was he bothering Taka? Hadn’t he done enough to him?

He clenched his fists and tried to keep himself from shaking. He could force this down. He could bottle this up and be as strong again. He’d apologize to Taka and pretend that everything was fine. He’d call Michi and make up some excuse as to why he took the gun. It would be like it was before. 

He looked up and saw Taka moving through the crowd towards him. He looked so relieved to see him.

How long would it be until he snapped again? How long would it be until Taka was dead like Daiya?

Mondo ran for the stairs without a second thought.

_ He stopped his bike a few blocks away from home and barely got off of it before puking in the grass. He heaved until there was nothing but stomach acid.  _

_ Panting, Mondo looked down at himself. Daiya’s blood still clung to his clothes. He could feel it on his skin. He gagged again and threw his jacket off.  _

_ He had hugged Daiya’s body until he heard the sirens. Not wanting to be taken in, he had left Daiya laying on the road and had rode off. He hated leaving him there, but he had to get back and keep his promise.  _

_ But he had no idea how he was going to do that. Once the gang found out that Daiya’s death was his fault, he’d never be trusted as leader. He’d probably be thrown out of the group all together.  _

_ He fought the urge to scream again and wiped away tears. He felt like he could cry for days if he’d let himself. He wanted to lay in the grass and sink in. He wanted to die with Daiya. He might once the gang found out what he had done. _

_ If they found out. _

_ He sat down and took some breaths as he thought about that. No one from the Crazy Diamonds had been there. No news reporters had gotten to the scene yet. And he was sure that him and Daiya had been riding too fast for anyone to really see who was who. They both had been wearing white jackets.  _

_ But could he really lie about his brother’s death? Daiya’s reputation would be greatly damaged by this and the last thing anyone would have to remember him by would be the lie Mondo would tell. No, his last memory should be of him giving his life for his idiot kid brother.  _

_ But Daiya had made him promise. With his dying breath, he had told him to keep the gang together. And since it was a promise between men, and a final one between Daiya, he had to keep it. Plus, it would be a much preferred version of the truth, one he could hopefully recover from. _

_ He stood up, still feeling sick and torn, but he had a plan. He grabbed his stained jacket and put it back on. _

_ He wouldn’t break this promise. No matter the cost. _

Hope’s Peak Academy was a very, very tall building. One of the tallest in the city. The cold and bitter wind tugged on his hair and whipped his open jacket around as he stood by the edge of the roof. 

Mondo was oddly numb. He had thought that he would be scared like he had been with the gun, but that wasn’t the case. Maybe it was because he had successfully pushed his emotions down far enough. Maybe if he didn’t think about it too hard, it would be okay.

Maybe this secret, this horrible, horrible, burden could die with him and no one would have to know. He would never hurt Taka or anyone else ever again. Michi could take over the gang. Everything would be okay.

Right as he raised his foot onto the half wall, the trap door that he had used to get up there opened up and Taka climbed onto the roof. 

“Mondo, what are you doing up here?” he said as he stood, “Students are not permitted to-” His eyes widened. “K-kiyodai? Y-you shouldn’t place your foot there. That’s dangerous.”

“Uh, yeah,” Mondo said as he placed his foot back onto the roof, “I’m just out here for the fresh air.”

“O-okay,” Taka said as he watched him carefully, “You wanted to speak with me?”

“Yeah, uh, I-I just need a sec. Could you, uh, go back downstairs?”

“You should come with me,” Taka said as he took a step towards him.

Mondo took a step back and bumped into the half wall. 

“Careful! Mondo, you should really get away from there.”

He tried to remain calm as he sat down on the wall. “You should go back downstairs.”

A horrified look spread across Taka’s face, and it took a few seconds before he was able to speak again. “You’re not….you wouldn’t….Mondo, please, just come with me.” He tried to step forwards again, but Mondo scooted back to where he had to put his hands on the wall to keep from falling. Taka jumped back. 

“Go back down stairs, Taka.”

“I’m not gonna leave you up here to make the worst mistake of your life!” The hall monitor was hyperventilating and fighting back tears. “Why!? Why are you doing this?!”

“Because I’ve already made the worst mistake of my life!” The numbness was wearing off. “It’s better like this-”

“NO IT ISN’T!” Taka was openly sobbing now. “What’s wrong? Please! I don’t care if you hit me or get mad or scream. Just don’t kill yourself. Please, I’m begging you!”

“....You wanna know what’s wrong? I’m the worst person on this fucking planet. The fucking worst. I talk shit about Byakuya but at least he hasn’t attacked almost half the class! I mean, who the fuck knocks out their best friend?! I’m not worth shit. I should’ve been the one to die, NOT DAIYA! I…I killed….” 

His entire body suddenly tensed and his heart raced. It felt like he was gonna die. He dug his nails across the stone to the point that they hurt. He shut his eyes and prepared to let go.

He could barely hear past his own ragged breaths, but he heard and felt Taka get closer and wrap his arms securely around him. 

“It’s okay, Kiyodai, I know you’re not okay. But nothing you say right now….will make me not want to save you. Nothing you have done will make me want to let you go.”

Mondo’s chest burned as he fought so hard against crying. 

“And you promised me something, remember?” Taka said as he slowly pulled him from the wall, “You promised that you would never hurt me like that again. And if you were to jump or kill yourself at all, that would hurt me more than anything.” Taka continued to walk him away from the edge until they were standing on the middle of the roof. “Okay? You forget that you are my dearest friend. And as your brother, I can’t let you die. That’s why….I can’t let you go.”

Mondo felt hot tears on his chest as Taka began sobbing again. He reached up and wiped his own face before finally returning the hug. 

They stayed like that, locked onto each other, for several minutes. The wind still whipped and howled, but they couldn’t care less.

Then a phone rang, and Mondo was surprised to hear that it was his ringtone. Taka quickly dug into his pockets and pulled out his phone. “You left it in the classroom,” he explained, “Someone named Michi has been calling you.”

“Shit.” Mondo took the phone and answered it. “Hello?”

“Jesus Christ, he finally answered,” Michi said, sounding stressed and worried, “Where are you?”

“Uh, school. Why?”

“Where at school? And don’t say your dorm room, because I’m standing in it.”

“You’re….what? You’re here?”

“So is Molly and she’s worried sick. Hey!”

“Dude, what the hell is goin’ on?” he heard Leon say in the background, “There’s a gun in your room.”

“Can you get back to your dorm room?” Michi said. 

“Uh, yeah, I’m headed back now. Just give me a sec.”

“Mondo-”

“I know, I know! Shit, I’m on my way.” He hung up and slipped the phone in his pocket. “Fucking shit.” He looked down at Taka, who was looking up at him. “I don’t know what I’m gonna do.”

“Who was that?”

“A friend from the gang. He’s in my room and Molly and Leon are there for some fuckin’ reason. Chi’s probably there, too. Fuck! I can’t do this.”

“Do what? Why are they all there?”

He started pacing. “Shit, I fucked up, I fucked up, I fucked everything up! I couldn’t keep it together for a couple more goddamn years! Son of a bitch!!”

“Kyodai, if you’re scared to tell them about….what happened up here, I’ll go with you. If they truly are your friends, then-”

“That’s not the problem. Fuck, I wish that was all it was. There’s something….there’s something I have to tell you guys.”

“....You mentioned….earlier, I swore I heard you say that you killed….is that-”

“Fucking, shit, goddamn, motherfucking fuck!” He suddenly remembered that this was probably the most that Taka had ever heard or allowed anyone to curse. He stopped pacing. “Yeah, yeah, shit, it was years ago but….I can’t do this, shit!” 

“I meant what I said,” Taka said as he placed a hand on his shoulder, “I’m not letting you go, not now, not ever. I’ll be there when you confess what you have to. You’re doing the right thing, I’m sure of it.”

“This is going to fuck up everything, Taka….but I can’t keep this up. If I have to keep this secret another day….”

“If this secret is causing you this much pain, it’s a secret that isn’t worth keeping. At least not from your friends.”

“But I might have to break a promise to do that, and it was the last promise between me and Daiya.”

“Would he really want you to keep it if it was causing you this much pain?”

Mondo let out a long sigh and headed for the trap door. Taka followed him down and they walked to Mondo’s room in silence, aside from Mondo mumbling profanity under his breath. Once when they made it to the first floor, he stopped frozen in place and didn’t start walking again until Taka grabbed his hand and guided him forwards. 

Mondo went silent as they went past the threshold of his room and Taka closed and locked the door. Standing there, waiting, were Michi, Molly, Leon, and Chihiro.

“Oh my gosh, are you okay?” Molly said as she went over to him, “What the hell?! You left all of a sudden and we tried calling….you were crying, weren’t you?”

He looked at Taka, who gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. 

“There’s….a lot I have to say,” he started.

“Start with this,” Michi said as he held up the gun, “Why’d you take it?”

“I….I was….gonna shoot myself. In the head. Then I tried jumping off the roof, but Taka stopped me….”

The news seemed to shock everyone, judging from their concerned or grief stricken faces. Even Taka was affected; he hadn’t known about the gun or the first attempt. 

“Uh….alright, damn,” Michi said, trying to talk through his shock, “I’m guessing that there’s a reason.”

“Of course there’s a fucking reason!” Leon shouted, “Probably the same reason he’s been actin’ weird all week.”

“Alright, I’m only going to say this once,” Mondo said as he went over and sat on his bed, “So shut up and listen.”

He took a deep breath….and told them. He couldn’t look up at anyone for fear that he would lose his nerve, so he just looked down and ranted on. He started with why he challenged Daiya in the first place and told them everything that happened during the race. He tried to tone every sound, every gasp, every movement out until he was done. He tried to describe the crash as fast as possible, but he had to stop constantly to keep himself from breaking down. Taka eventually sat next to him and held his hand. 

He ended with the promise and how he decided to keep it. The room was completely silent when he finished. He didn’t dare look up, fearing what he would see. 

“You lied to us,” Molly finally said, “For years. You let everyone think that Daiya had just been reckless, but he saved you.”

He tensed. “I didn’t ask him to. I had it comin, it would’ve been better had he just....”

“Don’t say that!” he heard Chihiro whimper, “No, it wouldn't of b-been better.”

“I haven’t done shit to make me worth savin’. I got him killed and I didn’t learn shit. I’ve still been fuckin’ up.”

”Offing yourself isn’t going to fix anything,” Michi said, “And he didn’t save you because of worth. He saved you because he was your brother.”

“And brothers don’t let brothers go,” Taka said quietly. 

“Yeah, he would’ve been a pretty shit brother had he not done something if he could’ve,” Leon said, “And from what you’ve said about him, he sounded like the type to do it again if he could.”

“Doesn’t change the fact that I killed him,” Mondo said.

“Can I talk with Mondo? Alone?” Molly suddenly blurted out, “Right now?”

“Right now?” Michi repeated, “What are you going to say?”

“It can’t be good if she can’t say it in front of us,” Leon shot, “The man already feels bad, don’t make him feel worse.”

“I would also like to disagree with this,” Taka spoke up, “Not because I think you’re going to do something devious but because I would rather not leave his side at the moment.”

“It’s fine,” Mondo sighed. He felt so drained and broken that he doubted that she could say anything that he hadn’t already said to himself. “Just let her.”

“Kyodai-”

“She was Daiya’s girlfriend. If anyone deserves to chew me out, it’s her. Just give us ten minutes.”

Everyone reluctantly agreed. Taka and Chihiro gave him quick hugs and Leon reassured him while Michi warned Molly to go easy on him before they left the room. 

Once the door closed, silence fell over the room once more. Mondo couldn’t tell if she had moved. He was still looking down and couldn’t bring himself to look up. Honestly, he was afraid. If he were in her shoes, he would’ve beaten the shit out of the bastard that lied about his brother’s death. 

“I should kick your ass,” she finally said.

There it was. “Go ahead. You should probably lock the door first.”

She walked over to him and he braced for a punch. But she sat down next to him. “Jesus, I said I should, not I’m going to. Why the fuck would I do that after hearing that you almost killed yourself? Twice! God, twice.” She let out a shaky sigh. “All this time I thought that you were moving on. Have I not been paying attention for that long? How long have you been considering suicide?”

“.....Today, I guess? Didn’t really plan shit, just kind of….And I guess a little after Daiya died….”

“That was years ago. You’ve been holding this in for years. Do you wanna know why I said I should kick your ass? It’s because that night I told you not to bottle anything up. And you bottle up something worse than I could guess. That night, I told you that it could kill you and it almost did tonight!”

“What was I supposed to say? Tell you that I killed Daiya and-”

“Stop saying that! You didn’t kill Daiya, a truck did. He chose to push you out of the way. You didn’t kill your brother…. Mondo, look at me.”

He didn’t move. The last of his strength was being dedicated to keeping himself from having another breakdown and he didn’t know if he could face her yet. But she didn’t give him a choice as she cupped his face and turned him towards her. She used her other hand to move his pompadour aside so that she could look him in the eyes. 

“You didn’t kill him. He saved you. Do you hear me?” she said as her voice strained, “I’m upset that you lied, but I’m more upset that you’ve been pretending to be fine this whole time. Daiya would be devastated if he knew you were suffering for this long.”

Mondo pulled himself away from her and turned away.

“He would be. You said that he didn’t blame you-”

“Because he was being nice-”

“Because he didn’t blame you! Why can’t you believe that? The only person blaming you is yourself!”

He clenched his jaw as tears slid down his face.

“I never got that, this tough guy act. You lied so the gang wouldn’t think less of you, but if the gang is supposed to be this family, then you should be able to cry in front of them and be vulnerable. Well, I’m not a part of the gang, I’m a part of your family, a family that doesn’t think you’re weak for having a breakdown.” 

“I’m not having a breakdown.”

“Jesus, you sound like your brother. You know that day that he was gonna kick you out? He kept saying that he wasn’t stressed, that he was fine, and that he wasn’t angry, all while sucking down a cigarette like it was a straw…..Men get stressed, they cry, they have breakdowns, just like everyone else.”

He crossed his arms as he started trembling again.

“Alright, I get it. Gotta be tough to be a leader and all that. Gotta look like you’re made of fucking rocks or some shit.” She paused, then stood in front of him. “Then tell me, in the most manly, overly macho way that you feel, the reason why you still blame yourself. Even after Daiya didn’t blame you, even after we didn’t blame you, even after that sweet boy took you off of the roof.” She kneeled down and leaned against the bed to get a better look at his face. “Why?”

“Why the fuck don’t you blame me?!” he suddenly shouted, “I’m the reason he’s fucking dead! He’d still be here if it wasn’t for me!”

“No, he’s the reason you’re here. You’d be dead if it weren’t for him.”

“So you don’t blame me at all? Can you look me in my goddamn face and tell me that you don’t hate me for killing Daiya?”

“You didn’t kill-”

He stood and headed for the door.

Molly stood and grabbed his arm. “Mondo-”

He whipped around and roughly grabbed her wrist. “Then stop bullshitting me and tell me!”

“I am angry with you! I’m angry that you lied, that you lied about everything, and I did blame you at first but I’m more relieved that you’re alive!” She pulled her arm from his grasps and wiped her eyes. “That’s why Daiya didn’t blame you. He was just relieved that he saved his little brother.”

He watched her sit back on his bed and cover her face. He heard a knock on his door before it opened. 

“Everything alright?” Michi said.

“Give us five more minutes,” Mondo said. He waited for the door to close again before going over and sitting next to Molly. He could hear her quietly sobbing behind her hands. Great, another person he had made cry today.

Not knowing what else to do, he took off his jacket and draped it around her shoulders. She pulled it close and he caught a glimpse of a small smile. She leaned on his arm and he wrapped one arm around her. 

“You might not believe this,” Molly finally said, “But I prefer this version. I always dreaded that Daiya died regretting the last thing he did. But now I know that he didn’t. And I mean it when I say that I’m so happy he saved you, even if you aren’t. I wish you would’ve told us this years ago.”

“I….I couldn’t,” he got out before having to wipe his face again.

She took the jacket off and draped it onto his shoulders. “I know. But you did now. And if you feel anything like I do now, you probably want to ball your fucking eyes out. And that’s okay. I swear, I won’t think any less of you….Want me to give you a minute?”

He quickly shook his head. “I don’t want to be left alone.”

She nodded before pulling the jacket closed around him and wrapping him in a hug. 

“Alright, that’s long enough!” Leon said as he barged into the room, “Listen, lady, I don’t care who you are but-” Mondo didn’t look up but he could guess that the baseball star stopped once he saw them hugging, “Oh, uh, ignore what I was just sayin’.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a longer one because I didn't feel right making it into two. I also wanted to end the chapter on a positive note. But, the story isn't done yet (and neither are the tears). There's one more chapter after this and hopefully it'll wrap this story up nicely.   
> I feel like I should write something more, but I just got done exercising and I'm too tired to think. I still gotta do some cleaning. Well, thank you all again for reading, giving me kudos, and commenting. I appreciate it a lot. Oh, and be sure to take care of your mental health!


	8. Rest In Peace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY! Sorry that this chapter is so, so late, but I wanted to make sure that I wrapped up everything I needed to in this final chapter. Fun fact, this chapter is named after a song by the same name by Aron Wright. I listened to that song so many times along with others for ambiance. I recommend it.  
> Thank you all for being patient and I hope this ending is to your liking.

3:55am. He looked from his phone to the several people in his room. Michi, Taka, Chihiro, Molly, and Leon had all refused to leave Mondo by himself for the night. So, they stayed and chatted well past what Taka would consider a proper bedtime. Eventually, Mondo had pretended to go to sleep. As much as he appreciated the company, he didn’t want to burden them more than he had to. But instead of leaving like he thought they would, they talked amongst themselves for a while and had come up with different plans to keep an eye on him and even planned a special visit to Daiya’s grave, one not involving the gang. 

After another hour, he had really gone to sleep, only to wake up at 3:55am to a dark room and people in his bed. Specifically Chihiro, who was curled up against his back, Taka, who laid straight and uniformed on his other side, and Leon, who looked as though he had fallen backwards across their legs and accepted it as his resting place. They all seemed to be resting soundly and peacefully. 

Slowly, Mondo sat up without bumping Chihiro or Taka. Then he nudged the baseball star with his foot a few times to see if he would wake up. Luckily, the red head was in a deep sleep. So he slid his legs free and scooched back so he’d have room to get up.

“Ow!”

He turned and saw Taka cradling his injured arm. “Shit! Sorry.”

“It’s alright. You didn’t sit on me too hard,” Taka whispered, “What are you doing up?”

“....Just going to clear my head.”

Taka sat up with a very concerned look. “You aren’t going to do anything reckless, are you?”

“No, I was just headed to the bathroom.”

“Oh….that’s fine.”

“You’re not gonna start treatin’ me like a kid, are you?”

“No, not at all,” Taka said as he shook his head, “I’m only treating you as a friend who needs help.”

“Yeah, I guess I’m officially a nut case.”

“Why would having an emotional trauma make you crazy?”

He shrugged. “I almost jumped off the roof and tried to blow my brains out in the same hour. I’d say that makes me pretty crazy.”

Taka looked down and wiped his eyes with his sleeve.

“Jesus, Taka….don’t start cryin’ again.”

“My….my apologies. I just….I wish you didn’t feel like this. I wish you didn’t have this guilt or this pain and I wish there was something I could do to end it!”

“I mean….you’ve been trying,” Mondo said as he stared down at his sheets, “I’m not exactly the easiest person to fix.”

“Was your brother’s death really what’s been ailing you all week? What drove you to….?”

“Yeah. I guess between getting ready for today and trying to do that assignment, it all just reminded me of-”

“Oh my gosh! I forced you to write about past traumas!” Taka looked up at Mondo in horror, like he was confessing to a crime, “I drove you to this without thinking! I’m such a fool!” He bowed quickly, nearly headbutted Mondo in the chest in the process. “Please forgive me for-”

Mondo slapped his hand over Taka’s mouth and looked over at their still sleeping friends. Leon shifted a little. Chihiro turned over and moved around until he bumped into Mondo’s thigh, which he laid his head on, then went back into a deep sleep. 

Once he was sure the other’s hadn’t been woken up, he looked down at Taka, who looked surprised at being silenced. “If you really want to help me, Stop. Fucking. Apologizing. To me. You of all people have nothing to apologize for.”

Taka pulled his hand away. “But Mondo-”

“No, I don’t care, I don’t deserve-” he stopped and closed his watering eyes. He was so tired of crying and even more exhausted from holding tears back. “I don’t deserve anyone’s sympathy or apologies. Not after what I’ve done to you and Daiya, not after lying, and not after the shit I pulled tonight.”

“What the hell?”

Both Mondo and Taka looked over at Leon in surprise. 

The redhead was looking back at them with one eye open. He yawned, then sat up. “Man, stop doing that. The shit you pulled tonight? You had a mental breakdown and you’re treatin’ it like you did it on purpose. As much as you beat yourself up, I’m not surprised that you finally snapped.”

“I agree with Leon! You shouldn’t think of yourself so poorly,” Taka said as he looked back at Mondo, “We’ve forgiven you for all of your misdeeds already. Shouldn’t that put your mind at ease?”

“That’s nice and all, but I’m still the same shitty person,” Mondo shot back as he crossed his arms.

“You are not….shitty.”

Mondo and Leon shared a surprised look before staring in disbelief at the Ultimate Moral Compass. 

“P-please excuse my foul language,” Taka quickly said with a bow before sitting up and continuing, “But my previous statement still stands. You’re a wonderful person, Kyodai, one that deserves sympathy and happiness. You care about your friends and family. You’re so overcome with guilt and sadness over hurting the people that you love. A horrible person wouldn’t feel this so strongly!....You tried to push me away today to protect me, didn’t you? You are violent and hotheaded, but you clearly don’t want to be those things. That’s why I keep suggesting professional intervention. A therapist could aid you.”

“I don’t need a therapist,” Mondo said, “Don’t commit suicide, I got it. I learned my lesson.”

“Mondo.” Looking down, he saw Chihiro rubbing his eyes and leaning against his side. “It’s okay to ask for help. I know it can be scary.” He yawned, then slid to rest his head back down onto Mondo’s thigh. “I was scared to ask you guys for help with my secret. I thought it would make me seem weaker, like I couldn’t handle my own problems. But you told me that I was pretty brave for sharing it.”

“That was different. This….this is shit I could’ve handled.”

“Uh, clearly not,” Leon said, “Look, I don’t care how tough you think you are. You can’t, like, hold in everything, especially when it’s eating at you like that. It was your brother’s death, man. That type of stuff could break anyone.”

“We don’t want you to carry this burden alone anymore,” Taka said, “Please, Mondo, please let us help you.”

“You guys don’t get it,” he said as his voice crack, “I have to carry this. If I let myself go soft-”

“We aren’t asking you to be weak!” Taka suddenly shouted, then quickly lowered his voice, “We’re asking you to be strong enough to address your problems and get help.”

His vision blurred and his chest tightened as it became a little harder to breathe. He already knew his problems and talking about them would just put a spotlight on them. What, so someone else could degrade him? When was the last time he had let himself feel something without degrading himself? He didn’t need anyone else knowing his weaknesses. 

He quickly wiped away the tears that he felt fall from his eyes, but more kept coming. His breath caught in his chest several times as he sniffed and tried to keep himself calm. He didn’t want to cry in front of anyone else, didn’t want to show weakness in front of anyone, but he was too tired to fight against himself. He was too used to labeling every unwanted emotion as a weakness.

He pulled his knees up to his chest, forcing Chihiro to sit up, and grabbed a pillow from behind him. He was barely able to bury his face in the cushion before he was forced to cry.

He forced himself to stay quiet, aside from sniffling and breathing. He was embarrassed and angry with himself, but that only fueled the tears. It got to the point where he was hyperventilating, almost suffocating. He was sure they were looking at him with pity. The thought made him press the pillow to his face even harder. 

A hand touched his back and began rubbing in a circle. Another hand reached up and rubbed his shoulder. He wasn’t sure who it was, but he assumed that it was either Taka or Chihiro, maybe both. The repetitive motions relaxed him little. They were saying something to him and who he assumed was Leon pulled his arms away from the pillow so he could breathe better.

“....deep breaths,” he heard Chihiro say. “Slow. We don’t want you getting sick.”

As if the word triggered it, his tongue soured and he hurried off of the bed before slapping a hand onto his mouth. He threw the bathroom door open and made it to the toilet just in time to vomit. Luckily, he didn’t have much to vomit. Unfortunately, that meant that it was mostly stomach acid. 

As he spit out the last of it, he heard the others walk in. He wanted to yell for them to leave and give him some privacy, but as soon as he started talking, he started to dry heave. He was pretty much bent over the seat, gripping onto it with way more force than necessary. If they weren’t pitying him before, he was sure they were now. 

He sat on his heels and panted while waiting for them to chastise him or tell him that they were worried or even ashamed of him. Instead, he felt a nudge on his shoulder. He turned to see Leon standing beside him with a roll of toilet paper in hand. 

“Looks like you could use this,” he said as he handed it off.

Mondo nodded his thanks, broke some off, and blew his nose. He heard the sink turn on and looked over to see Taka filling up a cup. The class rep brought it over and handed it to him before saying, “That wasn’t the reaction I was expecting. Sor- I hope we didn’t push you too hard.”

“It’s fine,” Mondo said, then took a sip of water. He barely caught Leon and Taka sharing a concerned look. “Damnit, I’m serious this time! You….you guys are….probably right.”

Taka bent down to kneel in front of him. “You’ll talk to a therapist?”

“We’ll talk to one of the counselors here and go from there. But,” he said as he held up a finger, “I’m not telling them shit about how Daiya really died. I’ve told too many people already.”

“But that’s-”

“Taka,” he growled through clenched teeth, “Don’t.”

“Okay,” Taka said as he gently placed a hand on his shoulder, “We’ll do this at your level of comfort.”

“Good,” Mondo said as he yawned, “Shit….Where’s Chi?”

“He’s grabbing you a snack from his room,” Leon said, “

“We should get you to bed,” Taka said as he took his arm and helped him stand, “Tomorrow morning, we will eat breakfast, then sit down with a counselor, if that is alright with you.”

“Sure, but what about….” Another yawn. “....community service?”

“I will talk to the headmaster. Your health and well being is currently at stake and must be addressed first,” Taka said as he marched him to bed. 

The bedroom door opened and Chihiro walked in holding a bag of pretzels. “Sorry if you don’t like these. I forgot to stack up on snacks recently.”

“Nah, these are great,” Mondo said as he was handed the bag and sat on his bed. He yawned for the third time before stuffing a couple of the pretzels in his mouth. He wasn’t sure why, but they were the best pretzels that he had ever tasted. 

His snacking was interrupted when Taka suddenly rubbed a wet wipe across his face. “Wow, what the-”

“You have eyeliner smeared all over your face. That can’t be good for your skin. Hold still!”

“I can do it, I’m not fucking handicapped,” Mondo said as he snatched the wipe from him. But after a few seconds and another yawn, he handed it back to him. “I’m too tired to look in the damn mirror.”

He heard all three of them either giggle or chuckle, and he couldn’t help but to smile. 

And it was a genuine smile. 

It felt weird to stand in front of his family’s grave without being surrounded by the Crazy Diamonds. There wasn’t anything to oversee or anyone to impress. Mondo wasn’t even wearing his leader’s jacket, but was instead wearing his usual black one. It was just him, the sunset, his mother, and Daiya. 

“A lot of shit’s happened since you guys left,” he said, scratching the back of his neck, “I’m sure Daiya’s filled you in on most of it. And I’m sure you’ve both seen the fuckin’ mess I’ve made….I’m okay, though. I’m getting my shit together. Gang is still going hard, house is still standing, I’m still stuck in school….”

He looked down, unsure of what else to say. He was beginning to regret not taking Molly’s advice to write down his thoughts. He looked over towards the entrance of the cemetery and could barely see her truck waiting in the distance. A part of him wanted to walk back to the vehicle and just say that he had said all he needed to. 

A week ago, he would’ve done just that. But the past seven days had been spent having mandatory breakfast, lunch, and dinners, having his brain picked by counselors and therapists, awkward apologies, and being excused from classes. He hadn’t gone through all of that for nothing. His friends hadn’t stood by him for nothing. And he knew his friends would be able to tell if he was lying to them again. 

“I don’t really get this talking to a grave shit. Just feels like I’m talkin’ to the air….but if you guys can actually hear me, I want you guys to know somethin’….that I miss you, bad. Home isn’t the same without you guys and Chuck. Just feels like everything was ripped away from us, you know? Then, Daiya….you started takin’ shit back. You made the gang, you kept the house, you made a family out of us.”

He stuck his hands in his pockets as a chilling wind blew past. “Then I ripped that away from you….I didn’t want to let you down and keep fuckin’ things up, but look where that got us. Goddamn it, why didn’t you just let it hit me?!” Great, now he was yelling at stone and offerings. He growled in frustration before glaring at the grave again. “I already know why you didn’t. Who the fuck wants to see their kid brother get nailed by a truck? So instead, you made me watch you die…..Shit, this isn’t what I wanted to say.” 

He sat down next to the grave and sighed. “Damn therapist said that I should talk about my feelings more….You were one of the only people I did that with but then you had to go and fucking die! So here I am, stuck talking to you and mom like this. You should be the one sitting here.” 

He cringed a little. Had Daiya been the one sitting here, he would’ve had to have this talk with his dead younger brother. What would he have said? Probably something that made much more sense. And probably something like, “I’m sorry I didn’t save you.”

Like Taka said, brothers can’t let brothers go. 

“I had to tell them that it was my fault. I should’ve been blamed from the fuckin’ start. You should’ve blamed me from the start! But you didn’t….you were the best brother any bastard could ask for. I can never, ever pay you back but I’ll fucking try….thank you.”

He stood up and placed a hand on the stone, running his fingers across the names until he stopped at Daiya’s. “Thank you for saving my life.”

It felt like there was more he needed and wanted to say, but if Daiya had been listening, he would’ve understood. After a few more minutes of silence, he turned and walked back towards the truck. He could see Taka, Michi, Leon, Chi, and Molly waiting for him. 

_ “Meet me there.” _

He suddenly stopped, causing the others to give him confused and worried looks. 

“You okay?” Michi called out.

Mondo nodded before saying, “There’s one more stop we gotta make. I wanna show you guys somethin’.”

_ Hope’s Peak Academy. The building was much bigger than he thought it would be. Mondo took another look at his acceptance letter, then got off his motorcycle.  _

_ He already felt out of place. Even the outside of the building screamed preppy, privileged, and proper, none of which he was. Well, privileged, maybe. He had been named the Ultimate Biker Gang Leader by the school, an honor that could not be taken lightly.  _

_ He was ten minutes early, so he leaned against his propped bike and watched some of the students walking into the building. He saw one girl with the biggest spirals he had ever seen in her hair, another who he recognized as a famous pop star, and one guy with a goatee.  _

_ A few minutes later, a guy dressed in iron pressed white uniform walked past him on his way to the entrance. The kid stopped, looked up at him, looked him up and down, and said, “Are you a student here?” _

_ “Yeah,” Mondo said as he raised a brow and his acceptance letter, “Name’s Mondo Owada.” _

_ “Ah, you were recently accepted as well! Then we will most likely be in the same class. My name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru and I look forward to our educational crusade.”  _

_ Mondo watched the kid bow, then look him up and down again. “What the fuck are you lookin’ at me like that for?” _

_ Kiyotaka leaned back as though he had been struck. “That kind of language isn’t permitted on school grounds, I’m sure of it!” _

_ He groaned, already becoming tired of this guy.  _

_ “I was taking note of your….attire. Where is your uniform?” _

_ “I don’t have any.” _

_ “Oh, I can loan you some, though you are much taller than me,” he said as he rubbed his chin in thought, “Perhaps we could find a better fit at a store.” _

_ “I don’t want to wear any shitty looking uniform,” Mondo said as he started walking towards the entrance. _

_ “Language!” Kiyotaka yelled after him, “Didn’t your parents teach you any manners?” _

_ “I was raised by my brother and no, he didn’t teach me any FUCKING manners.” _

_ “It seems like he didn’t do a proper job of raising you, then.” _

_ Mondo stopped in his tracks and turned around so fast that Kiyotaka bumped into him. “Listen here, you little bastard. Don’t you ever, EVER, say that about my brother. I’ve kicked ass for less and the only reason I’m not making your Goddamn face one with the pavement is because I’d at least like to step foot into the damn place before I get kicked out.” He grabbed onto the front of his uniform, causing Kiyotaka to protest. “Shut the fuck up! I’m warning you, say some shit like that again-” _

_ “Your cowardice attempts to bully me into silence won’t work!” the shorter boy said as he stared back up at him. There was no fear in his crimson eyes. “Now I will apologize for speaking harshly about your brother, but I will not retract my statement.” _

_ “You piece of-” _

_ “E-excuse me….” _

_ They both turned to see what appeared to be a small female in a sweater and a long brown skirt. She was clutching her computer bag and staring at the ground. “Uh, I….um, I-I-I don’t….” _

_ Mondo let go of Kiyotaka and stepped closer to her. “Come on, we don’t have all day. What is it?” _

_ She clutched her computer bag harder as her lip started to tremble. “I didn’t….want you guys to….” Her face went red before she suddenly ran for the school’s entrance. _

_ “Wait!” Kiyotaka shouted. He glared up at Mondo. “You scared her off!” _

_ “How the fuck did I do that when I barely said anything to her?!” _

_ “Language!” _

_ “Fuck you!” _

_ Clutching his fists, Kiyotaka stormed off, probably to catch up to the girl.  _

_ “Haven’t even made it through fuckin’ doors yet,” Mondo mumbled. He could already tell that this school was going to be a pain in the ass. He had come here for another chance and for an escape, not to deal with prissy teacher’s pets and people too afraid to speak to him.  _

_ He looked back at his bike and considered riding away and forgetting about Hope’s Peak. He didn’t belong here. But then he thought about going back to his empty home. He had nothing but the Crazy Diamonds and Molly to distract him from the fact that he had no plans, hardly any money, and no family. As much as he hated to admit it, Hope’s Peak Academy was probably his last hope of doing something better with his life.  _

_ With a deep sigh, he turned around and walked towards the entrance. But just because he had to do it, didn’t mean he was going to enjoy it. No, he was probably going to despise everything and everyone in the place, especially that know-it-all Kiyotaka kid.  _

“Not to be that guy,” Leon started, “But are we like….freezin’ out here so we can look at some city lights?”

“It’s not that cold,” Chihiro said, “You’d be warmer if you had a jacket on.”

“I would have a jacket, but Hina has it. She’s using it as blackmail until I can pay her.”

“That’s what you get for betting against Sakura,” Mondo chuckled, “Now would you get off your a-” he looked over at Taka, who had been extremely lenient the past week, “-butt and help us with the fire?”

Taka nodded his approval and laid the stick in his arms with the pile already on the ground. 

“I think we already have enough,” Michi said as he took out a lighter and lit one of the sticks. The flames caught after a few times and he carefully stuck it under the pile. “Alright, Mondo, now can you tell us why we’re here?”

“This has something to do with Daiya, right?” Molly asked.

Mondo nodded as he watched the fire grow. “Whenever me and him needed to talk, and I mean really talk, we’d tell the other to meet here. This was our spot. We could tell each other anything. I haven’t really used it since he passed because I didn’t think there was anyone else I could talk to like that. But you guys….well, ya know. I wouldn’t be here right now without you guys being on my ass and keepin’ me together. You guys are like family, my brothers….and sister,” he said as he glanced over at Molly.

“Don’t you mean sisters?” she said as she gestured to Chihiro.

“Oh, shit, uh, yeah-”

“It’s okay,” the programmer said with a smile, “It’s a long story, but yes, I am a boy.”

“I didn’t mean to out you like that, Chi.”

“Like I said, it’s okay. You said that this was a place where we could talk about anything, right? And I don’t want to keep holding onto secrets. I’ve seen what it can do to someone.” He looked over at Molly and Michi. “I’m a boy. Mondo, Taka, and Leon have all been keeping my secret and I hope that you will respect it as well until I find the courage to tell everyone.”

“Of course,” Michi said. 

“Of course,” Molly repeated before smiling, “Mondo, the more I hear from your friends, the more I have to call you a liar.”

“Huh?”

“Haven’t done shit to make me worth savin’,” she said as she did a horrible impression of Mondo’s voice, “And yet, you’re being a big brother over here. I don’t care what you say, Daiya would be very proud of you.”

Mondo hid his face behind his pompadour, though he was sure Molly had seen his cheeks turn pink.

“Speaking of Daiya,” Taka said, “What was it that he would say when you two were here?”

“Oh, uh,” he said before gesturing towards the horizon, “All of our problems are in that city. Weird how all of it can be condensed into one little shithole.”

“Language!”

“That’s what he’d say! Anyways, turn around and look up.”

He watched as his friends slowly turned around, one by one, and looked up. He heard them gasp and marvel at the stars that he knew were probably stunning. But he kept his eyes on the city lights. 

Would Daiya be proud of him? He had always told himself no, that nothing he did would make up for getting him killed, but he wasn’t so sure anymore. Daiya had put his confidence in him, even with his dying breath. Mondo had still kept their promise. He would eventually have to tell the rest of the gang the truth. He might as well tell the school, maybe the same way Chihiro did since the instructor was letting him turn in his writing assignment late. Maybe start with people he trusted, like Hina and Sakura. He knew many would berate him and some of the gang would abandon the Crazy Diamonds or call for a new leader, but the loyal ones, like Michi, would have his back. He could see his brother smiling at him and saying something like, “See, knew my baby brother could best me.”

“Kyodai?” he heard a worried Taka say.

“Yeah?”

“Are you okay?” he said as he reached up to wipe Mondo’s face.

Mondo grabbed his hand, lacing his fingers between his, “Yeah. I’m crying again, aren’t I?” He lowered his hand and turned around. 

The stars were how he expected them to be. Shining. In the thousands. Familiar. He wasn’t surprised by what he saw, but he was surprised by how relaxed he felt. He knew why he was there. He knew he wasn’t alone. 

There was a lot still wrong….but for that moment, he wasn’t angry anymore. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that is the end of my first Danganronpa fanfiction. I had fun (and a headache) writing this and plan to do more Danganronpa fanfiction in the future, after a much needed break, of course. This ending took so much out of me because, again, I wanted to wrap everything up and this is a tough subject to tackle. Was this a perfect solution? No, and this shouldn't be used as a blueprint to handle mental illnesses or traumas. I just wanted to end it on a good, wholesome note, even though everything was not perfect.   
> Thank you for the kudos, the comments, and the reads. You guys have encouraged me to keep going, even when I was afraid that this story wasn't going anywhere. I hope I'm able to reach more people with my writing, whether that be to make them laugh, cry, think, or act. I even reached myself and I've started taking better care of myself.   
> Feel free to leave a comment, whether that be a day from now or 5 years from now. I love seeing your reactions and I love getting questions. Until next time, see ya later!


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